Friday, July 25, 2008

Halloween in July - The Man in Black

Since I’m the one with the bright idea to run a writing contest, I figured maybe I should start the ball rolling. Mine is, obviously, not entered to win the non-existent prize... so really it’s just here for your thrill seeking amusement.... If you’re thinking of entering (whine, wheedle, plead), stop over at the original post and drop me a comment to let me know you’ve posted one. Deadline’s on Wednesday, July 30th.

Head warning, this story is a lot longer than my regular posts... sorry, I’m long and windy today.

The Man in Black



The glare from the streetlights skittered across his tobacco misted windshield, as Scott veered past the quiet parked cars and careened to a stop at the usual place, three houses from my mom’s. There were two gnarled old trees between us and the front window, and even with the crisp fall wind doing its damage on the leaves, they were still a great cover for long goodnight gropings.

I watched his hands trail across the steering wheel, putting the car in park and moving over to my left knee as if in one fluid motion... he couldn’t dance worth hell, but he was graceful as anything when his mind was on things best reserved for places not near where my parents actually lived. I could feel the half smirk lifting the corner of my mouth as I looked up at him, intent on telling him to stop without really meaning it, when it caught me out of the corner of my eye.

Right there in the small window behind the driver’s side seat, the same man I’d been seeing for days stood watching. My chest tightened and I jumped full around, my jean’s pocket snagging on the warn leather upholstery as I backed up against the passenger door. There was no one there. No man. No shadow. No nothing. I’d seen him at the gas station the night before, standing just behind the pump as I got out of my car. When I turned to look at him, there was no one there. The same thing happened days before, walking to the mailbox right down the block.

I turned my attention back to Scott, trying to regain my breath and act like nothing had happened, except it was too late.

“What?!!!” he shouted, whipping his head around and then glaring back at me, a vivid panic twisting his cheeks.

That little gleam in his eye that I liked to think was from me, but just as likely had to do with the amount of drinking we’d been doing that night, well, that playful look was gone. Instead, his light brown eyes darted back and forth before settling on mine, and his hand was less a caress than a vice grip on my leg before I cracked him with my knuckles.

“Nothing,” I said, shrugging my shoulders and trying to resurrect that half smile thing that usually worked so well.

“Seriously, what? What did you see?” he turned back to look behind him again before focusing on me in earnest. “What? It wasn’t nothing, what did you see?”

I was going to try arguing with him, but his voice was a little too manic and I didn’t think he’d believe me. Then again, I really didn’t want to tell him I’d been seeing some shadow man with a fedora hat who looked like he came straight out of an old forties movie.

“Nothing... really,” I huffed a bit to accentuate my frustration but as none of my usual tricks seemed to be working, I settled on the truth... or an approximation of it, anyway.

“I thought I saw someone... it wasn’t anything, probably a leaf floating past or something,” I explained, waving my hand toward the back of the car, “See? Nothing there.”

He shook his head, with his lips all puckered up as if he’d just sucked down a fistful of lemon drops. This was going nowhere. The mood was gone anyway and I had a paper due in the next day.

Just as I was about to say goodnight, he stopped me with one, quiet question. “Was he wearing a gangster hat that covered his face?”

I didn’t have to answer, couldn’t have even if I wanted to. My face was confirmation enough. I didn’t even know my mouth was hanging open until I realized my tongue was so dry it was painful. Scott turned the key in the ignition and lit out of the parking space without even checking his side view mirror.

We wound up at a little coffee shop some blocks away from my house; Scott hadn’t said a word the entire drive there, even though I’d been peppering him with cuss words and indignant epitaphs the whole way.

“What are we doing here?” By this point I half-expected him not to answer even that simple question.

He grabbed a notebook from the back seat and headed for the restaurant door, saying, “Come on, I’ve got to show you something.”

By the time our waitress came back with our coffee, I was halfway through the second page of his story, fidgeting with the ragged edge of the loose leaf paper and trying to make his chicken scratch make sense. Scott’s story described my ghostie to a tee, and I knew I didn’t tell him about it.

“So wait,” I started, grabbing a handful of sugar packets and dumping them in my coffee, “is this fiction? What is this?”

“Yes and no...” He drummed his hand on the table and leaned forward in the booth, “I’m writing it as fiction, but the man in black is the real deal.”

“Okay...” I said, “so what, it’s like a ghost or something?”

“No.”
He sat there, with this smug look on his face, like he knew some great life truth or something, but as near as I could tell, he was just trying to freak me out... except, I’d seen the guy and there was no way for him to know what I was seeing.

“Okay, what do you mean, ‘no’?”

“I mean I don’t think it’s a ghost. I don’t think it lived before... just read the rest of the story.”

I slammed the notebook shut and leaned back in the booth with my arms crossed. The story was, first of all about his ex-girlfriend, which was annoying enough. Second, I didn’t want to sit in front of him reading thirty pages of writing when he could just tell me what the hell he was talking about.

His eyebrows shot up and then he just shook his head. “Okay, basically, he’s this thing that’s been hanging around me for two years.”

“Okay...” I started, but the waitress was coming near our table and I didn’t want a perfect stranger to know we were both crazy. After she checked our coffees and moved on, I continued, “so far I got that you guys were playing with a Ouija board and this thing came through.”

“He didn’t just come through; he threw the stupid pointer thing into my wall!”

He was yelling so loud, I leapt halfway across the table to put my hands over his mouth to shut him up. And two truck drivers sitting at the counter were giggling. Have you ever seen a truck driver giggle, it’s actually not that pretty. Seriously, two big burley guys in flannel shirts and grungy hats, chirping like little school girls in my general direction... that’s uncomfortable.

“Shuuuuush... fine, so what’s the big deal, just have your house exorcised or something.”

“It’s not attached to the house. It’s attached to people. Everyone who was there that night has seen him since then, and none of them have been able to make him go away.”

What the hell did I get into?

“Wait – I wasn’t there.” I could feel the Cheshire cat grin, ha, ha... I felt like a little kid who got to glue just before the guy who was it tagged me...

“Yeah,” he said, fidgeting with his spoon, “here’s the thing, since I’ve been writing the story about it, he’s been acting up, and I think... maybe... ‘cause I’m around you so much...”

“Oh, nice... so what, you gifted me your psychic stalker?”

“Well, not on purpose.”

He looked so nervous, checking out the windows and looking everywhere but at me, I almost felt sorry for him. And I still figured it was probably more imagination than anything. By the time he dropped me off at home, I knew that the thing had been hiding his pens (more likely he misplaced them) and futzing with his computer (but he wasn’t that techie savvy to begin with). And I still didn’t see any reason to believe that if there was something there, it wasn’t just a run of the mill ghost.

I continued to see the shadowy figure in odd places, always when I was relatively alone. When I was with another person, they were never looking when it happened. A few weeks later, it started doing a bit more than just popping into my peripheral vision and disappearing. One morning, I was sitting in my kitchen after everyone else had left for work when all of the sudden the dog started barking. She was an older dog and usually only barked at the doorbell, so I thought maybe someone was coming to the door. But then her barking got louder and quicker, and by the time I got to the doorway of the kitchen, where I had I good view of the living room, she was in a full fledged fury. My mild mannered mutt was sitting bone straight in the middle of the couch, staring up at the ceiling, barking and crying at the same time. I stood there, confused for a second, until I noticed what she was looking at. There was a large cloud, it looked almost like smoke, but it was more solid and all in one spot, right up near the ceiling by the front hall.

I grabbed my keys and ran out the back, no shoes and still wearing my pajama bottoms. I’m not proud of it, but I left my poor dog there. In my defense, she was fine when I got back home.

Things quieted down a bit after that, but I was so on edge that any little thing made me skittish. Real people weren’t nearly as frightening as the things I imagined lurking around the corners.

Scott would occasionally ask if I’d seen it again, and I always lied. I didn’t want to freak him out any more than he already was, and I really thought all of his thinking about it was feeding the problem. He was convinced that the thing was trying to stop him from writing his story... Frankly, if it was me, I’d just chuck the damn story.

I was thinking that exactly, that I should convince him to throw out the story and not write it, on the last night I had contact with the man in black. We had a long weekend and I thought I’d turn in early on Sunday night because I hadn’t been getting much sleep at all in the previous weeks. Laying in the dark in my room, I got that feeling, like someone else was there.

A normal person might turn on the lights, but I froze, pulling the covers all the way up as if that would help. If anything, it just made it harder for me to move. Then there was a sound, a scratching sound, almost metallic but not quite, and it seemed to be right in my ear. I jumped up and turned on the light, half expecting that there’d be nothing there. Except there was.

One of those mylar balloons, you know, the helium ones with the pictures on one side – this one had hearts and flowers. It was bopping up and down near the ceiling and I breathed a sigh... until I realized the window was shut. There was no draft in the room. Why was it moving?

Then it raced all the way across the ceiling and stopped at the opposite wall.

“Huh... well, that’s not that scary... really.” I said it out loud, I think to convince myself, except I might have accidentally cheesed off the man in black or ghost or whatever, because just as I stopped talking, one, thick, hardcover book came all the way off of the book shelf and dropped with a bang on my desktop. The light from my overhead fixture shown off the spine, making the title wink and dance. The Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul... nice choice.

Fine, that was scary... I wasn’t brave enough to say it out loud, though. I cracked my door open a bit, shut the light, and got back in bed, because there was no way I was going to sleep on the couch... again.

My eyes were closed for barely a minute, when I heard a low rumble coming from my closet. I looked in the direction of the closet door, which was open, and couldn’t see anything, but it sounded like something was knocking everything around, as if someone was having a fit in the closet. I could hear the hangers screeching against each other and things thumping around. I turned on the lights and, silence. Nothing looked moved at all, and the noise stopped. I shut the lights and it started right up, louder and more ferocious. This time when I turned on the lights, it didn’t stop. The noise grew louder and more intense, but nothing was moving.

I shut the light off and did the only thing I could think of. My grandmother once told me that to get rid of a curse, you have to surround yourself with a white light, pray to God, and ask that it be ‘sent back from whence it came’. I made the sign of the cross, imagining bright light like a halo all around, and said the Our Father, all the while, thinking, ‘Send it back from whence it came’. I said the Our Father a second time. By the third time, my mind was screaming, pleading, whining, “Send it back from whence it came, send it back from whence it came!” The minute I said, “Amen” the noise stopped. I added a Glory Be and Oh My Jesus and ended with a sign of the cross. Then I turned the light back on.

The room was completely quiet and that feeling, like there was someone there, was gone completely. The glow of numbers on my digital alarm registered 1:02 am. I walked over and closed my closet door and for the first time, took a good look at the poster I had hanging there. It was from the Art Institute of Chicago, a neon outline of the character from Dick Tracey – a shadowy man wearing a fedora. I tore it off the wall and threw it in the garbage. And when I fell into bed, it was the deepest most dreamless sleep I can ever remember.

The next day bloomed bright and sunny for October, and I was in the most fabulous mood. It was like walking out of smog into the most perfect summer day. Scott called during his break at work, like he usually did, and we made plans for later that night, but he sounded funny.

“What’s wrong with you, you sound miserable?” I asked.

“Nothing, I didn’t really sleep good last night... something started banging around in my closet at like one in the morning.”

Monday, July 21, 2008

CONTESTS ABOUND!!!

The gracious Editorial Anonymous is hosting a best-worst pitch contest . So all of my fellow middle grade and children’s writer friends should head on over there and take advantage of her hospitality!

On my previous post, I announced a scary story contest, but in light of EA’s contest and the Book Club’s week of debauchery, I’m going to extend the deadline to next week, Wednesday, July 30th... that should give everyone enough time. If you’re playing, drop a comment or link over there when it’s up!

Thank you. We now return to our regularly scheduled blogging.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

WRITING CONTEST - Halloween in July

I thought it might be a good time for a writing contest... why not? Middle of summer when most of us have the least amount of time....

The lovely Ello (by the way, the new blog and picture are stunning – lucky Da Man) inspired this little writing contest, with her latest blog on Scaredy Cats

The rules are simple and anyone can play.

1. Write a short story, essay, anecdote, or personal memoir on a horror inducing subject matter. It can be anything from slasher to ghost story, paranormal or otherwise. Anything goes.

2. Form – It’s up to you. You can use traditional fiction, poetry, screenplay... I’m interested in any type of writing you’d like to include – the more variety the better.

3. Post your entry on your own blog, with a link back here and announcement on the contest – I’d love as much participation as you guys can generate... after all, we’ll all get to read a lot of different work and, best of all, get some new material for our own summer campfires.

4. Deadline: All entries must be posted by Friday, July 25th at 11:59 pm, Central Time

5. Once you’ve posted, make sure to drop back here and leave me a comment to let me know it’s up and included.


On Saturday, I’ll post a follow up blog with links to all of the entries so everyone will know where to find them. Judging will be done by you, the readers. On the follow up post, commenters can vote for their favorites. The prize is simple bloggy glory. I’ll post (with your permission) the winner’s full entry here, with links back to your blog. (I know, how cheap am I?) Or, if you prefer, an open critique, but that’s up to the winner.

So what do you say? Who’s game?

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Hypothetical Dream Killing

The lovely Nathan Bransford recently posted an interesting hypothetical question... more interesting was the response by the writers who participated in the mammoth comment section... he asked:

Question #1: Let's say there was a seer who could tell you definitively whether or not you have the talent to be a published writer. Absolute 100% accuracy. But. If the seer person said no, that's that. Final answer. Would you want to know?

Question #2: If the seer person said no, you don't have the talent to be a published writer, would you still write?

First, the responses:

I think, if any of you actually missed the post, it’s worth your time to go look at the writers’ responses in Nathan’s comments section. Not that I’m negating or arguing with any of them, I just got stuck on the fact that so many people could not stick to the hypothetical premise. I think it’s because that premise came very close to some of our deepest fears. What if I really am not talented enough for this? What if I’ve been spinning my wheels for years, years of my life that I can’t get back and I’ll never be any good? What if I’m a failure?

Second, my response:

Well, what if? I thought the same thing, you know... think it every time I re-read something of mine that I thought was damn well-written, and see all of the flaws on second or third or fiftieth inspection... what if? Well, let’s take it a step further and answer his question in the spirit it was intended... the hypothetical spirit, the one that can’t argue the seer’s accuracy or fudge the outcome in any manner.

Question 1: Yes, I would want to know... for the same reason I found all of my Christmas gifts before Santa came... the same reason I found out the sex of my children... we were doing the ultrasound anyway, why the hell should my doctor know and leave me in the dark? So, yes, 100% accuracy beats the hell out of ultrasound (otherwise my daughter would be named after my father)... so yes, I’d want to know...

Question 2: Would I still want to write? Brass tax honest answer – No. Should I give you a minute to gasp and wring your hands before I continue? Okay, at least I’m honest, and I don’t think everyone is... but I do feel the need to elaborate here, just for the sake of it.

I’d love to write some poetic ode to writing, that it’s in the journey not the publication, that it’s in my blood and I can’t for all that is holy, live without it... all true, but I’ll digress... would I, knowing I will never ever make a living from writing novels, continue to spend every possible moment of my time, carrying my notebooks to get in a few sentences during the kids’ swim lessons, staking out the computer during their library time to hunt up research on agents, publishing, writing queries, how to negotiate contracts, and all of that gobblidy gook that’s a necessity for a professional writer but not nearly as fun as actually writing? Would I continue to flow through the rough draft, revel in the revision, and sweat through large portions of the edits for two or three hundred pages? No, I think you’d have to be a masochist to follow all of the steps knowing it will never sit anywhere but on my own damn desktop.

I’m sorry. No. Now, what would I do?

I would likely mourn for a very long time. I’ve actually done this once before, so I know there is an active mourning period in retiring a dream. I’ve mentioned in blog before that I originally wanted to be an artist and studied drawing and painting up to college... I was in my senior year of high school when I realized I didn’t have that talent... no seer, I realized it myself. It was a quick, lightening flash moment, when I realized that that spark, the one you see in great, beautiful, moving artwork, I can’t do that. I’m proficient with shapes and lines, my technique is passable – I cannot make it breathe... I don’t feel anything when I look at my own drawings... I can see the flaws and well drawn lines, it will never breathe.... some people can do it – if you can’t, no amount of training will give you that particular gift. I do still draw and paint... I even do portraits for other people occasionally, but I’ll never pursue it professionally.

If I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I’d never reach publication with my writing, I would likely continue to write in journals, and send long windy letters and emails... I would probably blog, I’d definitely do something literary, because I can’t not... but I would get to cut out all of the angst that goes with the business end of trying to sell my creation... would I write a full length book in that state? Maybe, but it would be completely up to my own whim and enjoyment, and that push is less aggressive than the one that’s striving for a goal.

Then I’d find a new dream. Life is more fun when you have a vision, a goal... and I am a person who needs goals... I need to be working toward something... I’d venture to guess I’d want to work somewhere in publishing or maybe teaching. I can’t envision a dream of mine not having to do with literature or art of some kind... that doesn’t mean I won’t enjoy writing, but you have to strive professionally as well as spiritually... when they match up it’s wonderful... but if they don’t, you still have to keep going.

Okay, guys... how about you? Do you have an answer to this one?

Monday, June 23, 2008

The Waterboys and Perspective



Hopefully you can all access the video up there... this one worked out great because I wasn’t sure how many people had ever heard this song – and the lyrics run through the video, which is important to illustrating the story... so go ahead and play the video... I’ll wait....


Still waiting....

Yep, I’m still waiting...

Couldn’t access it? Really? Well, that’s not flippin helpful is it?

Wait...

Okay, here... you can read the lyrics on this page and if you really have a hankering for 80’s British rock, just google Whole of the Moon and you’ll come up with a slew of YouTube video’s....

Okay.... ready now?

Eons and eons ago, when I was young and feisty and full of shit, someone played me this song and said that it reminded them of me... which, of course, was flattering as all hell. They really thought that I had some cosmic understanding... that I saw all of the answers before me and moved with some sure footedness that they lacked. The truth was, I made it up as I went along... I still do.

And these types of things have happened to me throughout my life and relationships. I’ve noticed that a lot of times, people project characteristics onto me that I don’t actually possess – both good and bad. A lot of the time, they’re projecting their own thinking... I’ve had women think I would steal their boyfriends or husbands, not because I wanted to or would, but because it’s something they’ve done themselves... In turn, though, some of the nicest people in the world give me a little more credit than I probably deserve, because they see their own good nature.

I think, for most of us, the person we know ourselves to be, the one we see in the mirror and face at night when nothing else moves or breathes or takes our attention, that person is not the same one anyone else sees. Not because we’re actively trying to hide our inner workings, just because there are other variables at play. When someone asks you how you are, you say ‘fine’... or, you give them a laundry list of complains in which case they will eventually start to actively avoid you... but, the deeper pondering for me, right this second, is not so much all the muck and garbage that no one else sees because we don’t want to bother them with it, but all of the traits they see that we don’t realize or think are there.

Is the me I am in my head more valid than the one other people see? Whose perspective counts more? Or are they equal? And let’s bring this around to the subject of writing, because that’s where it’s really coming from for me – how do you show this sort of duality in your characters? Do you show it? Have you thought about it before? Are your characters the same to the outside world as they are in the sanctity of their own thoughts? Do they project themselves differently? And is it on purpose or is it the perspective of other characters that comes into play?

And now I wonder if I’m explaining this accurately at all. Perhaps it’s just a tangent I’m on with regard to the writing I’ve been doing lately... the story I’m working on is boiling down to a dynamic that isn’t at all what it appears, and each person interwoven in this particular family has a different take on the others, that’s valid but not identical to what the separate characters see themselves... I think I may be floating in the literary ocean on this one, I’m afraid I might be in the middle of it with nothing but a little plastic ducky raft... but the bill squeaks and I haven’t seen any sharks yet... I sent the first page to a reader friend of mine, who liked the voice, and I do too, she’s a spitfire... but the whole of it, what’s fleshing out is so vast and uncontainable. Every character demands their own understanding, both the inner world and way they see themselves and the outer world – the way they’re seen... and here’s the kicker, the way a character is seen by one of the other characters is not the way they’re seen by every character...

Have you ever taken on a story that you just don’t know if you have the chops to handle? The real scary thing is, I have, as I mentioned in an earlier post, multiple other pitches fleshed out that I could be working on... but this is the only thing I feel compelled to write.

Perhaps I should go and listen to some nice fifties music... clean and easy, without the esoteric gibberish... How about you guys? How do you work with these complex characters? And have you ever started a project thinking you might not be writer enough to manage the scope it demands?

Saturday, June 21, 2008

My Post at Moonrat's

Our dearest, Moonrat, has included me in her ongoing blog book reviews!!!! My review of A Tree Grows in Brooklyn went up today, and I’m so honored to have been invited to participate!

If you’ve been living under a rock or something and missed them, go over to Moonie’s and dip back into the entries for the last few weeks. There’ve been reviews by wonderful agents and editors, and some fantabulous blogging writers, too!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Announcing Book Roast



A Brand New Site is sweeping into the Blog-o-sphere, and it's a must stop for the lover of booksies. Book Roast is a brand new blog covering new books and their authors... there are prizes, fun discussions, and the chance to not only find fantastic new reading fare, but to meet the authors... fun all around.

I'm adding this to my blogroll under, "Authors to Watch" and hope to see you all there... The first Author / book to be roasted is coming up on June 23rd!

Friday, June 13, 2008

What Book Am I?

First, everyone go over to Precie’s and send her good health and wellness vibes. She’s been out of the blogosphere lately, nursing some health problems and we want her better with a quickness...

She posted just today to tell us what book she was and I decided to take the quiz myself:




You're One Hundred Years of Solitude!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Lonely and struggling, you've been around for a very long time.
Conflict has filled most of your life and torn apart nearly everyone you know. Yet there
is something majestic and even epic about your presence in the world. You love life all
the more for having seen its decimation. After all, it takes a village.



Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.



Ironic, ‘it takes a village’ is one of my least favorite phrases, I think it’s complete bullshit and it negates personal responsibility... but that could be a long and winding discussion... Anyhoo, what else was I going to post but the results of a silly internet survey thingie... now off to read my horoscope and finish up The Secret... which, by the way, is a revamping of both traditional prayer and old Wiccan / Strehgeria beliefs, but I’ll digress...

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Mark Twain - Which author has most impacted you?

This post came to mind after reading through some of Moonie’s latest offerings. She’s doing a series of guest posts, having avid readers of her blog give book reviews on the novels that have made the most impact on them... That got me to thinking about books that have touched me as a writer, which spiraled into another thought, which author has had the most impact on me as writer? If I was to go with which novel, it would be a thoroughly different answer, and the answer might change depending on my mood or point of view at the time because, honestly, I’ve read a lot of amazing literature that’s impacted me in some form or fashion.

But which author? Hands down, it’s Mark Twain. I did read Tom Sawyer when I was in middle school somewhere, maybe sixth grade or so, but I didn’t think much about it until far later in life and I’ve had a love affair with Twain’s voice for most of my literate life. I can remember reading the following passage as a kid:

“...Within two minutes, or even less, he had forgotten all his troubles. Not because his troubles were one whit less heavy and bitter to him than a man’s are to a man, but because a new and powerful interest bore them down and drove them out of his mind for the time – just as men’s misfortunes are forgotten in the excitement of new enterprises. This new interest was a valued novelty in whistling, which he had just acquired from a negro, and he was suffering to practice it undisturbed. It consisted in a peculiar bird-like turn, a sort of liquid warble, produced by touching the tongue to the roof of the mouth at short intervals in the midst of the music – the reader probably remembers how to do it, if he has ever been a boy. Diligence and attention soon gave him the knack of it, and he strode down the street with his mouth full of harmony and his soul full of gratitude...”

When I was in my early twenties, I was waiting for a few of my friends to get ready to go out carousing and I found a battered old copy of Tom Sawyer on the coffee table. I was never one to sit in the mirror fretting about makeup and hair, so while they were occupied in the bathroom, I sat on the couch and paged open the book... I realized I was audibly whistling when one of my friends peered around the corner and asked what the hell I was doing. Ten or twenty two, I couldn’t help but whistle when reading that passage.

This wasn’t even my favorite of Twain’s work and my reasons for loving him as a writer are long and winding. Huckleberry Finn offered some of the most amazing characters, yes, but it also offered a commentary on racial relations that was quite radical for the time, and still loudly applauded... here’s the thing, Twain had deep and powerful motives behind his storytelling, he had paramount messages to get across, but he didn’t sacrifice the entertainment of the story to do so. The most memorable scene to me is on the river raft, when the very young Huck decides he’d rather go to hell than turn Jim in. It’s more powerful than it looks, because he really believes it.

Twain went to great pains to capture his characters and is probably most often associated with his dialect – which is tremendous. It’s funny that he would be the author I love so much, because I’m trying very hard to be a more organized writer that plots thoroughly rather than writing by the seat of my pants... Twain was anything but organized. He often had multiple stories in progress at a time and when one called to him louder, he’d move on with that one and abandon all of the others. He never plotted. He set characters down on the page and let them run around until they told the story. I think the thing that speaks most to me in Twain is his lack of pretension. His characters didn’t need to be royalty or elite, as so many of the day were. He reveled in getting into the mindsets of a society that was often overlooked...

This could probably ramble on a lot longer, as I loved the man as well as his work... I’d planned on including some of his quotes, but then we’d be here all day. How about you, as a writer or a reader, which author’s made the most impact on you? Would it be the same answer if I asked which novel has made the biggest impact?

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Fiction Writing ADD

I think I’m drowning... you know, without the water... the kids are officially on summer vacation and I appear to be the only mom on the playground not outlandishly thrilled at the prospect of having them home twenty four seven... ah, yes, bad mommy. To correspond with this momentous time of year where my time will be totally occupied in my full time job – being a stay at home mother – my creative demons have started to rally. Oh, yes, they is busy.

What is it with me exactly? Why is it, when I space out my time so that I can get some work done uninterrupted I’m at some sort of an impasse in my writing – either I’m at the point in revision where I really REALLY need to not work on it, to get some distance, yada yada... or I’m really not set on what I’m writing and therefore my writing time is less productive than say when I’m in the heat of creation.

Well, I thought (that was probably mistake number one, trying to think out my life... I don’t do well with that – it’s why I’m a seat of the pants writer... plotting never works out for me and the best adventures happen when I’m not at all looking for one)... Anyhoo, I thought I worked this out rather well. Revisions are done. Agent research is done. Pitches written. Synopsis complete. So basically, the plotty planny thingy, was to be geared up to fire off queries and sample pages so that I could concentrate on the kids and leisurely (hello, self? I said leisurely didn’t I?) start on the next project, without pressure.

So, what happened? I am suddenly inundated with plot ideas. I have writer’s ADD, hey look, a bunny! Seriously, I had a backburner plot all picked out... middle grade historical. I started some rudimentary research, and it’s a good idea and I like the main character... but, here’s where I think I went wrong. In order to write it, I really feel like I have to be immersed in the time frame... So I have a lot of reading and research ahead of me before I’m comfortable writing it... so my creative demons (most people call them muses but mine aren’t behaving lately, so there you go) well my creative demons didn’t want to wait... they’ve been steadily handing me fully formed plot ideas for various genres for the last month and a half.

Okay, let’s count them up, with the historical I already had planned, I have a notebook full of notes for two different middle grade novels, two different YA or tweens (I think one of them is actually tween but it could go either way), one mainstream adult fiction, one women’s fiction, and one – of all flippin’ things – mystery / suspense.

Seriously? Seriously. Here’s what I think happened; I planned myself a break from writing and something in my little creative section of brain power said, ‘oh, no, we don’t want a break... let’s keep throwing ideas at her until something’s way too good to pass up.’

So, have you ever done this? Have you ever had so many different creative irons in the fire that you confused yourself on where to go next? How do you pick? Objectively, I think I need to pick one serious idea and work on it solely. What I may do, though, is pick one of the contemporary plots so that I can start the writing process sooner, and do the research reading on the historical in my spare time so that I’m more ready for it when I finish the next wip...

So, my first step right now is to write up a pitch for each... then go through them and see which ones I’d rather read. Okay, what are you guys working on? Anyone working out more than one idea? And what are you doing with your kids over summer break?

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Lolita Effect at Ello's - Bloggy Announcement!!!!

My beautiful bloggy friend, Ello is hosting a blog event that’s a must participate post for any and all parents of daughters... actually, it should be of interest to any parent (as boys will likely be effected by this at some point) and I think really this is just a human issue, everyone’s created the problem, so everyone should take a good look at it.

On Wednesday, May 28, 2008, Ello will be posting a review of the book The Lolita Effect by M. Gigi Durham, PH.D seen below:




Not only a review though, dear friends, Dr. Durham will be there to answer questions and discuss issues that concern us. I haven’t read the book yet, though I think after this it will be on the top of my TBR list – you don’t have to have read it yet to participate...

For me, this has been an issue since my daughter was in 2nd grade, and it’s getting worse as she gets older. My daughter is tall for her age, always has been. So by the age of eight, she was in size ten clothes because that’s how tall she was... well, those of you without daughters this age may not be aware, but size ten seems to be where clothing manufacturers decide to hoochiefy the selection.

All of the sudden, I couldn’t find a pair of pants that actually covered her little baby bum. Seriously, why does a kid who doesn’t have hips yet, need hip hugger jeans. That’s not all my friends, no that’s not all. I actually had to start buying little diva low riser underwear. I hate this, I really do. But when I buy her the cute flowery bloomers a kid that age should be wearing, you can see three inches of them above her pants anytime she bends over. I’ve combated this in a myriad of ways, the latest of which is buying those babydoll tops that come down past her butt – it still doesn’t solve the jeans problem, but at least she doesn’t look like a mini exhibitionist.

When my daughter made her Communion, we went together to buy her new shoes and a dress and the veil... this is special mother daughter time and I really thought, being that the selection should be primary to kids who are only eight, that the whole avoid the risqué clothes thing wouldn’t be an issue... it still was. Little one also has big feet for a kid her age. I pictured cute, white little mary jane shoes with lacy bobby socks... umn, they actually had white stilletto’s with CLEAR heels in the same section... and yes, in her size, a 3 at the time... Come on!!! Seriously, are there parents out there buying these... are there daughters strippers in training? What’s the deal?

The upshot is, my daughter doesn’t, in fourth grade, dress like the cool kids. I’ll bring her to the shops she likes for special occasions, but I refuse to spend fifty dollars on a pair of boots she’ll grow out of in six months, which are not right for the elements anyway. I refuse to get her any article of clothing that doesn’t cover her midsection, except for a bathing suit... I’m not such a prude that I mind my daughter wearing a two piece so long as it’s age appropriate (and there are some)

She doesn’t complain about it too much, but she does see the difference. I only wish it could’ve waited, the whole, ‘I need the cool clothes to fit in’ thing, until she was at least a bit older than 8.

There are other issues besides clothing that will be discussed at Ello’s. Self esteem and the way a girl starts to see herself at a young age will be paramount, I’m sure. I hope you’ll all be there to check it out and add your thoughts.

Friday, May 23, 2008

A Novel Contest

The following conversation takes place in the comments section of the Stupendously Nice Agent’s Blog, who’s graciously offered up his time to host yet another contest for the benefit of his readers.

The Coolest Writer Ever: Wow! You are the nicest guy ever and I love your blog. You are at the tip top of my must query agents list....

(Insert self described brilliance that is my entry)

Newbie Learning: What a great opportunity. I’ll try my hand at this. Best of luck to all of the entrants.

(Insert carefully written entry here)

Joe Writer: Cool, thanks for hosting!

(Insert entry here)

Been There Done That: Great contest. So far, I like Joe Writer’s entry best, but Newbie’s shows a lot of promise... can’t wait to read all the entries.

(Insert awesome entry here)

Over 150 entries with various degrees of proficiency follow. Some with lovely notes of gratitude, others with comments and kudos to other entrants.

The Coolest Writer Ever: Stupendously Nice Agent Guy, Not to complain or anything, but many of these entrants have not adhered to the rules of this contest... and some of the anonymous ones are posting second and third entries – I can tell because I’m brilliant and their writing style is obvious. I think you should disqualify the ones not playing fair... notice that I played fair, I did, I did...

(The Coolest Writer Ever) now posting as Anonymouse: Yeah! I agree with The Coolest up there! We put a lot of time and energy into following the rules. You should delete all the people who didn’t! If you’re not going to run a fair contest it doesn’t bode well for your reputation as a professional.

Stupendously Nice Agent: Okay, let’s all settle down. This is really just a fun blog exercise.

Many more entries mount and the final count ends at about a bazillion... give or take, discounting the anonymous sniping in comments, as other anonymice have followed suit as trolls are apt to do when they smell blood in the blog queue.

The Major Cool Finalists for the Awesomely Fabulous Contest are announced

Comments add up with various blog followers and contestants alike, voting for their favorites and generally thanking the host with bloggy jokes and kudos for all... and then...

(The Coolest Writer Ever) still posting as Anonymouse: Well, forgive me for being the lone voice of reason, but half of these finalists didn’t follow the rules. One used cliché imagery and another couldn’t master proper English. I saw many entries that were far better written than these... take for instance, The Coolest Writer Ever’s – now hers was well done. I think this contest is crap.

Joe Writer: Hey, Anon, take it easy. It was just a contest and no one twisted your arm to play. Personally, I want to thank Stupendously Nice Agent for taking the time to host.

(The Coolest Writer Ever) still Anon: Joe Writer, nobody asked you and you’re just a suck up anyway! So there!

Anonymous (this one a miscellaneous troll who just likes the drama): I AGREE WITH THE FIRST ANONYMOUS!!! “It was just a contest...” – It might’ve been just a contest, but the prize was world domination! You can’t flaunt that under our desperate attention seeking noses and not expect a little argument when the contest wasn’t fair!

(sulks back into corner and sends off another two thousand form queries in the hopes of selling his major masterpiece that hasn’t yet been written but some ‘professional’ out there must certainly realize his brilliance...)

Stupendously Nice Agent: Sorry for the trouble all. I was just trying to be nice, but I’m getting a little tired of putting in thousands of hours of spare time only to be denigrated by people I’m trying to help. I think that’s it for the contests.


Disclaimer and Explanation: This little parody is in response to Precie’s Novelty contest. To add insult to injury, I went over her word count – so, Ha!

I hope the Stupendously Awesome Agent whose blog contest I used as inspiration does not take offense. The truth is, I think the agents who take their time to blog and discuss the ins and outs of their end of the business are more awesome than words can say. There has never been a better time to learn the craft of writing, and it’s because they are taking time out of their very busy schedules to put information out there that we never would have had prior to hitting publication before.

For those of you anonymice stopping by to read this – it may not matter to you, but you’re ruining it for everyone else. I don’t know if you believe in karma, my friend, but you do reap what you sow... and even if you don’t believe that, use enough common sense to realize that you can’t learn anything when you think you’re always right.

That concludes my parody for today... Hope you all enjoyed it.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Poetic Mystery

Once upon a time, I was paging through my mother’s photo album. Not the, we-are-a-family-all-about-my-children-type-photo-album, mind you, this was her real memory book; the one from before she had kids, the one with the cool pictures of a very young, sassy thing who sported the first ducktail haircut in her high school.

There, in the pages, was a folded piece of paper with a poem inside. She did not write the poem – I know this because at the bottom she’d written “Author Unknown”... I love this poem... absolutely love it. I loved it from the first moment I read it, back when I was about sixteen and when she recently brought me over a typed copy to have, remembering how much I liked it, I read it again... I still love it.

So, where did it come from? Well, now that’s the question that’s bugging me. So I thought I’d put it up here to see if any of you wonderful, and well-read bloggers might be able to point me in the right direction toward finding the author. My mother originally found the poem in a magazine (she can’t remember which one) back in the late fifties or very early sixties. According to that article, the poem was on a plaque at the entranceway to a boys’ reformatory.

The Clock



I swear that I ain’t stirbugs, Doc,
But in my dreams, I see a clock;
Bigger’n all the world, it seems,
The clock I see, in all my dreams.

‘N fightin’ the hands, I always see,
The little kid I usta be,
‘N hear the kid I once was, cry,
“Turn back! Turn back, before I die!”

‘N scream, ‘n scream, but no one’s there,
‘Cause those who shoulda, didn’t care.

Ya know, Doc, good kids don’t just grow,
It takes some decent folks to show
A kid just what he’s gotta be,
To fit into society.

‘N as a kid, I never had
No one to show me good from bad,
Exceptin’ other kids who thought
That bad meant only getting’ caught.

So I went bad ‘cause no one good,
Looked at a kid, ‘n understood.
I’ll tell ya, no one wants to be,
A menace, to society.

There ain’t a guy inside this pen,
Who wouldn’t like to start again,
And keep the kid he usta be,
From bein’ a case history.

But that’s just wishful thinkin’, Doc,
You never can turn back the clock.



I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I do. If you happen to recognize it and know who the author is or where it came from, I’d love to know... Or if you’ve got any good ideas on how to find out, that would be great, too.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Various things for Aerin

I’ve been tagged by the lovely Aerin to tell you all some various things.... okay, so here goes:

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning (like this).
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves (if they can).
3. At the end of the post, the player tags 5-6 people and posts their links, and then leaves them a comment, yada, yada – I’m skipping this one. If you’d like to play feel free to take the meme as your own, and drop me a comment so I know to visit.
4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer (and link love is always appreciated)

A Meme about Various Things



What were you doing ten years ago?

Summer of 1998... I had just completed my first year of marriage (I say that the way most people talk about completing prison time... la, la, la). I had just turned twenty five, we bought our first home (which we still live in) and it was my first summer as a stay at home mom... it was a big change year for me... my daughter was well under a year old at the time, so we didn’t do much of the summer/swimming fun stuff that’s become part and parcel of the season for us over the years... I think I was pretty much just getting my bearings at the time.

What were five things on your ‘to-do’ list for today (in no particular order):

1. Littlest guy’s baseball game... (He’s a Cub! Huzzah!)
2. Bring snacks for all the kids on the team (I was snack mom today)
3. Catch with oldest, as she wanted some practice for softball.
4. Work on a few revisions... and I got in a few pages on new wip
5. Can I include cleaning/dishes/laundry/and feeding the family all as one line item – they have to get done daily and five things is a little light for my daily to-do’s.

What are some snacks you enjoy?

Oy, this could be a long list... it depends on my mood...
- yogurt (I’m loving the strawberry cheesecake kind lately, and keylime pie’s always good)
- Guacamole (I know it’s fattening but I do like it)
- Salsa and chips
- Cheese and crackers
- Fresh fruit – watermelon, strawberries, honeydew, cantaloupe, grapes... pretty much anything citrus... mmm... I hate cutting it all up, but I love having it with breakfast or after dinner...

What would you do if you were a billionaire?

Selfish wants.... hmmm.... okay, I love my neighborhood and all my neighbors are awesome, but I’d love a house with a full, renovated basement – preferably one with a kitchen, where we could have family parties and such. I’d also love a bigger regular kitchen with more counterspace because I actually like to cook and bake and could use the room... oh, and my own office and library would be heavenly.

After all of those basics, I’d like to take the family on one nice vacation a year and set up good size trust funds for each of my kids so they wouldn’t have to worry about college or starting out stuff... no college loans to pay off or saving for years to be able to put money down on their first homes... heavenly, I just hope that wouldn’t make them so spoiled that I would be forced to make fun of them.

Otherwise, I don’t have a lot of selfish wants... I might splurge on travel as there are some places I’d like to see, and it would be absolute heaven to never have to worry about income and keep writing to my hearts content... but I can live without all of that, and likely will.

I’d also be a sucker for an enormous amount of charity and would use some of the time that I’d never have to spend working for money to volunteer somewhere where it would be appreciated and needed.

What are three of your bad habits
1. My motto should be, “I’ll procrastinate tomorrow”... seriously detrimental.
2. I am completely disorganized in every area of my life except my writing... odd huh? My manuscript is in order at all phases of the writing process and I update my query/agent research every time I run across something new or anything needs to be noted... my house and schedule on the other hand... well, I never miss anything for the kids but I’m often running around like a nut trying to play catch up because I forgot middle one’s little show thingie was on the same night as oldest’s chorus party... stuff like that keeps me hopping... and my bills are more often in a pile than organized at all.
3. I live in my head... this is actually a plus for the writing facet of my personality, but it’s a detraction to all of the normal people around me... Before the kids I was very social, but my social life has revolved primarily around them for the last ten years and I find myself more daydreamy now than I was in high school.. which amuses me, but annoys a lot of the people vying for my attention at times.

Five places you have lived:

Sorry guys, can’t really answer this one. I’ve always lived in Chicago or the chicagoland area... I could list five towns/neighborhoods, but I don’t really want to draw a roadmap to my house in an online venue

Five jobs you have had:

1. Waitress
2. Receptionist
3. Executive Assistant (really a secretary but the fancy title kept me from asking for a raise... )
4. Stay at Home Mom (should include combat pay, but I’ll digress)
5. Freelance writer (mostly web content business writing)

Last five books you’ve read:

1. Twilight by Stephenie Meyer – I’m currently reading this one and loving it... I know I’m a little late to the party, but I’m glad I finally picked it up.
2. Girls In Trucks by Katie Crouch
3. Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Café Really late to that party, it was on my to be read list for a very long time and I adored it.
4. Atonement Yeah, I know, I’m like years behind the trends... that’s because my to be read pile is so flippin huge... wait – Girls in Trucks was a newer release... there, ha.
5. Diary of a Whimpy Kid - I stole this one from my daughter, it’s all the rage among fourth and fifth graders, and it’s really pretty good.

Ello added another great category, so I’m taking her lead... Five movie quotes I love, points for you if you can guess which movie they’re from. Granted, the points aren’t worth anything but bloggy bragging rights, but still a fun game for all.

1. “Candy-gram for Mongo.” - this movie is intensely quotable, I also like:
“I didn’t get a hurrumph outta you!”
“Hurrumph, hurrumph”
“Watch your ass...”

2. “You'll slap me? You slap me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize.” – Okay, this one’s a real toughie unless you’re a big time old movie buff... I’ll give you a second quote from the same picture to help your odds a little
“Let’s go and say a prayer for the boy who couldn’t run as fast as I could...”

3. “You know, for all that pirates are clever-called, we are an unimaginative lot when it comes to naming things”
“Like?”
“I once sailed with a geezer lost both his arms and part of his eye.”
“What did you call him?”
“Larry”

4. “Leave the gun, take the cannoli.”

5. “What is the matter with you? I thought Mothers were sweet and nice and patient. I know loan sharks who are more forgiving than you. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding.” (that’s from one of my favorite Christmas movies...)

Saturday, May 10, 2008

First Page Critique - Revisited

First, I'd like to apologize for the scant number of blog posts and lack of visiting I've been doing... If it makes you all feel any better, I've been using my computer time on writing - I'm hustling through some revisions that I think are really an improvement to the novel (don't you hate when you think you're done and then figure out you're really not?)

Besides the first page I'll be posting below, I've also been working on something new. I hadn't intended to, actually. I intended to take this time to work on shorts and leisurely read, and then start researching my next middle grade novel (which is still on the horizon, just pushed back a bit)... but this idea fell into my head and keeps fleshing itself out, so I'm running with it... maybe it'll be a big burst that goes nowhere, maybe it'll become something great. I'll have to follow it to see a bit better, but that's what's been taking my time lately, so I apologize for the absence, bear with me while I get my creative imps under control... okay, I likely won't control them, I like them when they run amok... but I'll try to stop in more often in any case.

Some lovely writers and readers participated in my first page critique a few posts ago, and gave me great feedback on Marigold Mourning, which I've put to some use. Nearing the end of the comments section there, I said I'd post the revision when it's done... this is actually a bit longer than a page now, but I'll post the whole. Same rules apply. Would you keep reading? Would you stop, where, and why?

Marigold's First Page and a bit more:

Marigold stopped short at the sight of the tulips standing upright against her screen door. She never heard the gate squeak open. She’d only been to the alley and back. It couldn’t have taken her more than a minute. Maybe she wouldn’t have heard it from the alley, though. Her scant blond eyebrows drew together above a small pug nose. Where did the flowers come from?

She brushed straying locks back into her ponytail and turned to look at the open yard. There was no one there. Not a shadow. Not a sound. Whoever left them had to be lightning quick to place the bouquet all the way up on her step and leave without her noticing.

Her gaze fell on the open back door as a sudden chill ran up her arms – a prickling sensation that raised the fine hairs all the way up to her neck. Should she check the house? Maybe she should run to a neighbor’s.

“The hell with that,” she thought, “it’s my friggin’ house!”

As she maneuvered up the porch steps, each creak of the wood sent her top teeth a bit further into her bottom lip. She peered in through the window, the bright kitchen lighting made dreary in contrast to the August sunlight outside.

Grabbing the flowers, she searched for a card of some sort, knowing there wouldn’t be one – there never was. The stems were wrapped in lavender ribbon, and she tapped them against her palm, as she paced back and forth over the small porch.

“I’m being silly,” she thought, still pacing, “Too many of Kay’s admonishments to lock the doors and windows... young girl in the big city, blah, blah.”

She looked skyward, as if she might reprimand her sister through the paint chipped boards of the house’s overhang.

“I’m a big girl now. Besides, boogiemen leave creepy things, not fresh flowers.” She said it aloud to prove her point.

Marigold held her breath and opened the door. She plunged into her kitchen in a reckless clatter, as if the noise of her arrival might scare any intruder away. She shoved the flowers into the garbage and grabbed the phone off the counter, hoping her dialing finger would be quicker at nine-one-one than an intruder’s machete arm might be.

“Haaaaaaa!” she yelled, holding the phone over her head as she whipped open the closet door.

After making sure there was nothing more insidious than outdated clothes hanging there, and wondering why she ever thought she could wear orange, she continued her rampage. Marigold shoved back curtains without reservation and mangled innocent boxes under her bed with a broom handle. At the end of her mad dash, she wound up in the kitchen, chest heaving in exhaustion and, perhaps, a bit of pride when the ringing doorbell made her shriek like a little kid on a scary ride at Disney land.

Okie, dokie... feel free to comment, critique, and generally skewer.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Mothering (for Precie's contest)

The Lovely Precie has challenged me to write a mothering story. Well she’s challenged everyone, actually, there’s a contest up on her blog – deadline is tomorrow, and there are beloved booksies as prizes... anyway, I’ve been putting it off because motherhood as a topic can go in so many different directions and I’ve drawn a blank... plus, I’ve been sick *cough, cough, whine, whine* so, you know, I plead pity to all of the bloggy stuff I’ve been putting off – such as the final revisions on the first page I posted last week.

Mother’s Day, for me, is anything but a day off. Both of my sons have May birthdays, five days (and two years) apart, and they always fall right around Mother’s Day – usually one on either side, but occasionally one of their birthday’s will actually fall on the date. The wind up is, Mother’s Day becomes a joint celebration for their birthdays and Mother’s day, which means I run around like a nut job, buying gifts, baking cakes, and cooking a ginormous dinner, on Mother’s day... The boys get to sing happy birthday and get their gifts from the relatives, the mom and mom in law get gifts from their kids and my kids, and I get three hand made creations, a card, and a big flippin mess to clean up – wait, sometimes I get flowers, too.

Told you I was sick and whiny.

Now, I could go into stories about the platitudes of motherhood. How great it is, how it’s the only job in the world that hugs you goodnight and tells you they love you. All of that’s true. Most days I can’t believe how lucky I am to get to blow bubbles in the backyard without anyone thinking I’ve lost my mind... I get to draw on the sidewalk in chalk again – and they have much prettier colors now, too. I get to play hopscotch and baseball and softball. I get to eat popsicles on the patio and have water gun fights... I’ve gone sledding every good snowfall, and had snowball fights, build forts and few decent snowmen... I’ve done all of the things that, before kids, I thought were gone forever... into the fuzzy oblivion of childhood where everything seemed safe and someone always had the answers.

Now I’m the one who’s supposed to have the answers, though... scary thought. I remember the first year I was in my house. I was twenty four, my daughter was only a few months old, and spring was just starting the bloom. I went into the laundry room to start a load and I moved the basket of dirty clothes to find – ants!! Tons of them! And I screamed... not, “Ahhhhh!”, or an appropriate swear word... I screamed, “Maaaaaaaa!!!” I did, I swear it. It took me a few minutes to realize that I couldn’t do that anymore... I couldn’t just pass every household problem on to my mother... now I was the mother...

I called a bug guy, a great one actually, he’s a friend of mine from forever who happens to be an exterminator, so he sprays my house for me twice a year now to keep away bees and bugs and I haven’t had ants since that first spring ten years ago. It wasn’t that difficult to take care of, most things aren’t, but you don’t know that until you have to be the one in charge.

The thing about mothers is, they’re silent. They don’t tell you all of the things they’re doing behind the scenes. They don’t list out all of the household things they’ve fixed so you wouldn’t be inconvenienced. They don’t mention the school paperwork they’ve gone through, meetings they’ve sat through, messes they’ve cleaned up... they don’t really think about it because if they didn’t do these things, well, they’d have to live with the chaos too... I didn’t think about it when my mom grumbled about the raising taxes... until I paid taxes and then I nodded my head in agreement. I didn’t think about the endless loads of laundry she must have done, until I had a laundry room full of clothes to be done that seemed to grow by five loads a day. I didn’t think about exterminators, until I needed one.

I think sometimes we mothers do ourselves a disservice by being so silent. Sure, if we listed all of these things, the cooking the cleaning the cajoling... if we listed the number of doctors visits with screaming toddlers, the soccer baseball and softball games, the number of rehearsals and lessons... if we listed all of the things we give our time for, well, we’d just be mercenary...

And that’s not what it’s about. I do these things to build a good life for my kids. I do these things because I want them to learn how to be good and happy people, and I want them to have all of the advantages I can give them... so no, I don’t list the things I do, because frankly, I don’t have the time to come up with a list but more than that, listing it would mean that they owed me something – and they don’t. It’s not conditional, this motherhood thing.

So I give up Mother’s Day, because I don’t need a day to honor my being a mother – I’d much rather celebrate my kids, anyway. Pity, though, my kids will likely never realize all of the little things I do, until they have to do them on their own... That day in the laundry room, after I called the bug guy, I called my mom... I don’t remember the conversation anymore, but I’m pretty sure she got the gist of it... I wonder if I’ll get one of those calls from my kids some day.....

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

First Page Critique

Well, I've been relatively quiet on the blogging front lately, mostly because I've been working on a few short stories. Short stories aren't my usual writing or reading style, to be honest. So it's taken a little work to really get into it, without trying to make the short into a full length novel. So, I thought, since my last few posts have been Query critiques, and since I'm not sure how well my opening is playing, I would open this post up to a critique on my first page...

Any and all comments are welcome. This one is called, Marigold Mourning and it runs a bit under 3,000 words. I wrote it originally a number of months ago and sent it out to rejection, before deciding it definitely needed something... and one of my favorite bloggers suggested I change the opening - which I did. So you guys tell me - does it hold your interest? Would you keep reading? If you wouldn't keep reading, where would you stop and why?

Marigold Mourning - opening page



Marigold stopped short at the sight of the bouquet standing upright against her screen door. She turned around, scanning the empty yard and walkway, but she hadn’t heard anyone at the gate and she’d only been to the alley and back. It couldn’t have been more than a minute, how did they get the flowers there and leave... what if they hadn’t left?

Her eyes fell upon the open back door as she maneuvered up the steps, each creak of the wood making her bite her bottom lip a bit harder than the last one. She peered into the kitchen, dreary in contrast to the bright August sunlight of the porch. Grabbing the flowers she searched for a card of some sort, knowing there wouldn’t be one – there never was. The stems were meticulously wrapped in lavender ribbon, and she tapped them against her palm as she paced back and forth over the small wooden porch, trying to decide whether to go in or not.

She held her breath and opened the door, plunging into her kitchen in a reckless clatter, as if the noise of her arrival might scare any intruder away. She shoved the offending flowers into the garbage and grabbed the phone off the counter, hoping her dialing finger would be quicker at nine-one-one than an intruder’s machete arm might be.

“Haaaaaaa!” she yelled, holding the phone over her head as she whipped open the downstairs closet.

After making sure there was nothing more insidious than outdated clothes hanging there, she continued her rampage through the entire house, shoving back curtains and checking under beds with frenzy. At the end of the mad dash, she wound up in the kitchen when the ringing doorbell sent her into orbit.


Okay, usual rules apply - thanks for reading and any feedback you guys can give me.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Query / Pitch Critique.... Part II

I originally posted an offer to critique pitch and query letters here The offer still stands, so if anyone’s interested in working on their query, pop over and drop yours in the comments section there. For an idea of how this works, you can check out the lovely, Julie Weather’s Query Critique here.

Gina, who came up with the idea in comments on one of my previous blogs, has volunteered her own query. And here we go:


Dear Agent,

“Faithless” is my 100,000-word space opera set in the 70th century, in human-inhabited systems several light years from Earth.

It’s tough enough surviving the world as a human. Try doing it as a resurrected being in the body of a human. That’s Ilana, an impoverished, rebellious eighteen-year-old with strange urges and bad nightmares. She’s a Voth resurrected in the body of a human, but she has no idea—just the feeling that something isn’t right. Her world is turned upside down when her existence comes to the attention of emperor Xim, the only other known Voth resurrection. Imprisoned, and then forced into his service, Ilana manages to win over his treacherous military elite and masterminds a powerful assassination plot against him. But just as she’s poised to strike, she learns her true identity from a terrifying encounter with the alien race Cyon, former slaves of the Voth that are now hunting them. As her current life rapidly loses meaning, she is torn between searching out other Voths in the virgin depths of space, or staying with humanity. But how do you give up the money, power and fame that you struggled so hard to get… for an uncertain life among your own kind?

Here are the first few pages. The story opens in a city on planet Yurin, where eighteen-year-old Ilana is wasting time racing speeders before she is first picked up by the empire:

Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely yours,
Author.

Wow, you know, I have very little to nitpick here, which is a good thing, since I’m fairly nitpicky. I think you did a great job of keeping it short and to the point, especially since there seems to be a lot going on here. I won’t say anything about the names, as you pointed out posting this that the names will be changed... actually, I wouldn’t say much either way, except maybe about the planet name... he,he...

I’m not really well versed in sci-fi, so maybe someone else has something to add with the storyline itself. The only thing writing wise is to edit out the ‘But’, in this sentence:

“But just as she’s poised to strike, she learns her true identity from a terrifying encounter with the alien race Cyon, former slaves of the Voth that are now hunting them.”

– also, I had to read that sentence twice to get it (which may be because I’m not a sci-fi buff, so I’ll put that up for another opinion too) I think you could edit it down, cutting either the name ‘Cyon’ or cutting the phrase, ‘alien race’, because they’re explained in the next few words.

I really liked your introduction to the scene in your closing paragraph, it’s unusual, but it had a very star wars kind of feel to it, and I thought it was a nice addition.


I hope that helps some, I know I didn’t give you very much in the way of crit, but I really didn’t see very much to crit. Many thanks to Gina for posting her query for our critique. I invite all of you to offer your crits in the comments, as these work best when they’re interactive with a lot of participation. Same rules apply, all honest feedback welcome, nothing derogatory.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Six sorta random weird little things... or, another meme

Sidenote: Gina and Query/pitch critiquers, I promised this meme out to Precie a few days ago, so I’m posting it first – I’ll have Gina’s crit up in a day or so, so stay tuned.

I've been tagged by Precie

The rules:

a. Link to the person who tagged you.
b. Post the rules on your blog.
c. Write six random things about yourself.
d. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
e. Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog.
f. Let your tagger know when your entry is up.


My Six Things:

1. I have favorite desserts for each season, and occasionally each month... odd aren’t I? Seriously, January’s an off month as there’s nothing much going on and I’m probably too bloated from Christmas. Buuut:
- February – I have a need for chocolate covered cherries at valentine’s time
- March – My birthday month, so my cake has to be chocolate, preferably Devil’s Food
- April (or March depending on when Easter falls) You think I’m going to say peeps... but it’s jelly beans, I have to have them and they can’t be the jelly belly’s even though everyone else on the planet loves them and they can’t be starburst – they have to be the cheap crap ones in the ginormous bag, just like the ones I found in my own Easter basket as a kid.
- May (two birthdays and an anniversary this month) though I don’t have a need of it, I always wind up having Chocolate cake with butter cream frosting at least three times this month.
- June – ah, an off month, how flippin refreshing... though I do have to have good Italian Ice (and the place I like is like a half hour’s drive from my house, because it’s in my old neighborhood and yes I risk the flippin drive by’s to go back and get a couple containers and the homemade pizza at least once a summer... I also have a need to have at least one push up – you remember the orange sherbert crap in the little cardboard container that you had to push up from the bottom and it spilled all over your hand and arm... Yeah, that was my favorite from the ice cream man and though I haven’t seen him in eons, I still need at least one a season... So those two cover June and August...
- July – I have to have a slice of apple pie – I know, annoying, but I like apple pie, though not ala mode, especially if they use a good amount of cinnamon in the filling...
- September – Spice cake with butter cream frosting, as soon as fall starts rolling in I get a hankering... I also need at least one batch of banana bread with a large slathering of nut butter, but that’s not dessert so it doesn’t flippin count.
- October – forget the candy, I need a caramel apple, preferably affy taffy... with nuts, and I hate it when they hide the granny smith apples in there, those are no good, I like the red or golden ones
- Novemeber – me needs to have at least one slice of good pumpkin pie
- December... oh, let me count the ways... well then, I have to have at least a few mint meltaways (for those of you unfamiliar with Fannie May, I’m so sorry, you’re missing out) I also love the Christmas cookies, especially my homemade Italian Knot cookies with the red and green sprinkles... la, la, la... oh and of course a few candy canes.

2. Wanna laugh? Besides that long list of sweets I rambled on about up there, I rarely eat sweets... I have those specific things with the seasons they come in... Otherwise, I’ll usually pass on desserts and have a small slice of cake at birthdays to be polite, but I don’t go out of my way for a sugar fix often, and I usually opt for fresh fruit.

3. It’s been a weird few weeks and I’ve actually gotten to see a number of people who I haven’t seen since my early twenties – I’ve heard at least three times that I’m even smaller now than I was then, which is really awesome to hear, but.... I’m a size larger, thank you very much... rather proud of it in fact – it’s not that easy to bear three, rather large children (youngest was 9 pounds 12 ounces at birth) and only go up from an 8 to a 10.. It’s not a size two, I was never going to be a size two, I’d fall over, but you think I’m thinner because I’ve lost the baby fat in my face which isn’t supposed to be a good thing but there ya go.

4. I have no sense of direction and don’t really care. Seriously, I will get lost going anywhere without a set of directions, unless it’s a place I know by heart. I’m notorious for taking the wrong highway and getting us lost and for me it was always the fun of the trip, which tended to annoy my friends – once, my friend Taryn and I were on our way to a concert and I missed the turn off, so instead of going to the concert we hung out in Milwaukee for the day – bothering sailors (seriously, we found sailors on leave and made them take pictures with us) and goofing around... we had such a good time, neither of us cared that we missed the concert.

5. I smoke. Gasp, go ahead, call the smoke Nazis and tell me how bad it is for my health... I actually already know it’s bad for my health.. really, I do.... so is my driving, but I’ll digress on that point. I’ve quit, I think eight times already, sometimes for months, even years... (three pregnancies and breastfeeding... you’d think I’d just never start again)... I will quit again, and for good this time. I was supposed to start on those pills, my dentist had me all hyped about it, and then she wouldn’t prescribe them because she thought I should go through an MD, which was probably a wise thing to say, but jeesh, just prescribe them and shush-y... so I’ll ask my thyroid guy when I go for my next check up and let you guys know where I’m at with it.

6. Okay, here’s a good one – my blog address is happy cat, my name literally translates to Happy Mountain lion, but I hate cats... I’m a dog person.

Well, if you made it all the way through that ramble, here are my six people for to pass on this meme....

Colleen Katana
Mary Witzl
Stephen Parrish
Julie Weathers
JJ Debenedictis
Jersey Girl

Okay, I’ll let all my meme recipients know in the morning... feel free to point and laugh at my silliness in the comments.

Monday, April 21, 2008

My Town Monday and other announcements...

Query / Pitch Critique: For those of you who haven’t ventured by lately (my own fault as I’ve been a sporadic blogger) The last two posts have been dedicated to critiquing queries and pitches... If you’d like to help crit our first query, graciously volunteered by Ms. Julie Weathers, stop on over and leave your feedback in the comments. I’m still open to new queries and pitches so if you’d like to work on yours stop by the original post and leave your pitch in the comments section.

Spotlight Blogger: My real world friend, Dina Darling, has a blog!!! Though when I knew her, we simply called her Dina Beans... Dina and I went to high school together and recently got together with another close friend for a girl’s night of silliness. She is one of the most genuine and caring people you will ever meet so if you get a few seconds, pop on by and welcome her into the blogger fold. Dina posts some poetry and verse and a lot of musical musings as well as photos – she freelances as a band photographer (how flippin cool is that?)

And on to the post...

Haunted Chicago... meet the neighbors



For those of you rolling your eyes bear with me here. One of the great things about studying the legends of an area is that it brings you closer to the place’s history. Chicago has a wide array of people from different parts of the globe and many of us are first or second generationers, which make us a little more intrigued by all things superstitious. Where there is a personal connection with these places, I’ll include it – otherwise, what follows is just a brief snapshot of some of our more infamous hauntings and the legends behind them.

Resurrection Mary

Resurrection Cemetery is located on Archer Avenue in Justice Illinois, west of the actual city limits. Since the 1930’s there have been sightings of the woman who has become known as Resurrection Mary on a stretch of Archer between what is now Willowbrook Ballroom and the main cemetery gates. Sightings include men who’ve met with the young woman (usually described as a blond haired blue eyed girl in her late teens or early twenties) in the dance hall, one that was in fact there during the 30’s, then called the O. Henry Ballroom. The men tell varying stories – some danced with the young woman for most of the night, when driving her home she asked them to stop in front of the cemetery and then she ran toward the gates and disappeared. Others say she disappeared from within the car when they got to the cemetery gates.

Other stories involve men picking up the young woman hitchhiking on the road or, in fact, running her over – but by the time they exit their vehicle the apparition has disappeared. Chicago area ghost hunters have been on the hunt for the actual historical verification of the young girl for years. There are a few different theories on who she might be, usually identified as a girl of polish decent, sometimes a girl named Anna Norkus who was killed in an automobile accident on the way home from the O. Henry with her father in the 1930’s.

There are a plethora of pictures taken by amateur ghost hunters showing orbs and other variations of light play, but perhaps the most notable physical evidence of this legend, or that has been tied to this legend, are on the bars of the cemetery itself. One observer noted the girl’s hand grasping the bars to the cemetery gates as she disappeared. When he went to look at the place she had been, the bars were badly misshapen and burned where her hands had been. Cemetery officials claim that the damage to the bars is due to an accident involving a truck.



Photo of Resurrection Cemetery Bars, from Wikipedia Page on Resurrection Mary

When I was a teenager, this was a favorite spot to go at night and creep yourselves out. We’d stand at the bars and take turns putting our hands where Mary’s hands had supposedly left their imprint. The legend as I was told it... while drinking and scaring the bejeezus out of one another, was that the bars had been replaced once, but the marks came back in the same exact spot.

Meet Emily

Theatre people have some of the best ghost stories. In Cicero, theatre is taken pretty seriously, oddly enough. As a side note for the star minded, Cicero and Morton High School and College are home to Joe Mantegna... and the kid from My Bodyguard of 1980’s fame, but I don’t remember his name.


Me loves me some Joe Mantegna - come on, he's adorable! Photo from his website

Emily is (or was) the ghost of the Morton College Theatre. Historically, she was an actual girl who was murdered in 1969 and the crime was never solved. At the time of her disappearance and death, the college campus was just about to be built – Morton College was, in its early days, operating out of Morton East High School Campus, and their Chodl auditorium has its own ghost story as well. Emily’s body was discovered when the construction crews went to break ground on what is now the site of the theatre portion of the college campus.

I had a lot of friends involved in that theatre and for a year or longer, I worked on sets and did lighting for some of their productions, so I’m pretty familiar with the lore. Emily had her own seat in the back of the theatre, to the right hand side of the booth. That particular seat got icy cold and no one who spent any time around the theatre would sit in it. In researching this particular post, I ran across a number of articles that indicated that Emily was known to frequent particularly violent productions – but I’d never heard that during my time around the theatre, so I don’t know where that bit of lore comes from.

What I do know is that sightings almost always occurred late at night. The janitorial crew was especially spooked by Emily as she seemed to like to mess with people when they were alone in the building. She did such things as play with the elevator buttons, appear on the roof and then jump off, and throw stones and small objects at people. As I recall, she was around for a lot of the musicals, or at least people seemed to think she was around. A friend of mine who’s been in and around the theatre in recent years informs me that Emily has finally moved on. She hasn’t been sighted in a long time and the theatre community no longer has a fear of the seat in the back row. The theory always was that Emily couldn't rest because her killer was never caught. There weren't even any leads at the time. So one theory is that her murderer may have met his demise or gotten caught on a different crime - there were all sorts of theories on who and why, but there never was a concrete suspect. Most of us aware of her story assumed it was a stranger, and in 1969 the idea of serial killers wasn't really well known.

Dillinger’s Alley:

Many of you know the story of John Dillinger, but I’ll refresh your memory if you’d like. John Dillinger and his band of bank robbers were notorious during the 1930’s. While FBI sources list him as a scourge and cold blooded killer, the public consensus at the time was much more forgiving. Remember, this was during the great depression and people were none too keen on banks, having been left penniless by these un-backed institutions after the crash of 1929. Dillinger was seen as a sort of robin hood, though he didn’t actually give his loot to the poor to my knowledge, but he and Baby Face Nelson and other criminals of the time did revel in burning the bank’s mortgage notes and debt records, which was a nice little boost to all those people getting ready to lose their homes.



Photo of Biograph as it appeared in 1934

Dillinger was set up and ambushed at the Biograph Theater in Chicago in 1934. He made the FBI agent upon leaving the theater, drew his gun, and tried to escape down the alley next to the building – but he was gunned down in the alleyway. The neighborhood still boasts Dillinger’s death as a claim to fame and the bar next door actually put a sign in the window the next day implying that Dillinger had his last drink there. You can go into the theater and sit in the seat that Dillinger occupied before his death and there’s a plaque erected near the ticket booth to commemorate the event. Most notorious for ghost hunters though is the appearance of Dillinger in later years. Witnesses claim to have seen him running from the theatre, a lone spector in the middle of a scene no one else can see, and then falling to the ground in the middle of the alley to disappear.


Photo of Biograph today

There are, of course, other haunts in the Chicagoland area, such as Hull House, Harpo Studios, and the site of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. But this post has gotten far too long already, if you feel like researching haunts in your own hometowns though, let me know... I always love a good ghost story.

I'm an idiot!!!! I forgot to thank the wonderful Travis for starting the My Town Monday series... if you've just stumbled upon it here, go check out Travis' blog for a list of all the bloggers participating and to get a flavor for all the locations being spotlighted.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Query / Pitch Critique.... Part I

The first post in this series is here. If you missed it when it was first posted, haven’t had a chance yet to post your pitch in comments, or decide after reading this one that you’d like to post your own pitch for critique, feel free to drop a comment with your pitch at the first post and I can include it in subsequent crits. Originally I planned on doing one blog post with any pitch / query critiques that were wanted – but I realized how long that one post would be, so it’ll be a series, for as long as you’re all interested in working on them.

Before posting my critique, I thought I’d point out a few things for anyone who needs to do a little digging on how to better hone their query. Most of the best advice on query and pitch writing that I’ve gotten over the last year or so has come about through blogging – it’s more than just a time suck, though as Josie points out from her time with Donald Maass, if it scratches the itch it can be detrimental.

Here are a few blog references for those looking to see how a query / pitch might work best, from some people with much better experience than I:

Most of the agents in my sidebar have done posts on how to write (or how not to write) a query – if you search their sites, you’ll find some fabulous advice.

BookEnds held a series of pitch crits that I learned a great deal from... my own pitch has changed significantly since then, but I knew I was at least on the right track there... there are numerous posts and a significant amount of great feedback from writers in the comments, but it’s worth the time to read through if you haven’t seen it yet.

Our own JJdebenedictis, who recently gained representation, held The Goblin’s Crucible, and many pitches were improved. (Check out JJ’s winning query letter for a good example of what’s worked).

The lovely and talented Moonrat held a Book Blurb contest that was stellar in not only developing pitch but also a working start at synopsis... her contest was to give a back cover blurb (your pitch), jacket flap copy (your synopsis minus the ending), and a tagline.

Okay.... and now it’s time.... our very first entry:

Dear Perfect Agent;

I’m guessing this was a typo, but just in case, it should be a colon (:) or comma (,) depending on your preference or the agent’s

(Personalized note about agent.)

I generally include genre and word count in the opening paragraph as well, that way you don’t have to include the line towards the end, “Paladin's Pride is a fantasy novel, which is complete at 130,000 words.” Which seems out of place and a little awkward stuck in between the pitch and bio sections. I try to keep it to one or two sentences particular to the agent and why I am querying them, usually I can tie it neatly in with my genre – for an example with yours, you might mention a book they rep in your genre and draw a parallel between the writing style or subject matter and your own and finish the sentence with, ‘I thought my fantasy novel would be a good fit for your list’ or ‘a good fit for representation’ I finish that small paragraph with a straight forward sentence on word count – if you’ve already mentioned the genre, you might use, “PALADIN’S PRIDE is complete at 130,000 words.” – When you reference the name of your novel, most sources state that ALL CAPS is the correct format for query.

Just to give you an over-view before I get into specifics, this is too long with too much description. Your story sounds both interesting and fun, but a reader might not wade through all the extra verbiage to find that out. You want your pitch paragraph to be just that, one paragraph – two at the most, but it needs to be concise and it needs to intrigue the reader – the agent doesn’t need to know the whole story from your query, they only need their interest piqued. Look at some of the back cover blurbs on your favorite books – the really good blurbs will give you a great indication of what your pitch paragraphs should look like.


The king is missing. The infant prince is being poisoned. Guards loyal to the king are systematically exiled or killed. It's a dangerous time for a sixteen-year-old girl to join a unit connected to the king's elite Horse Guards, some of his most loyal troops. It's especially dangerous for a girl who has caught the eye of a demon, a pirate and the demon caller.

Gentyl has always dreamed of joining the Horse Guards when she was old enough. However, after the last of the missing king's personal guards is executed like a common criminal, her parents enroll her in an exclusive healing school, where she will be protected. Gentyl thinks her prayers have been answered and she has found favor with the Divine One, when she is accidentally assigned to a military unit instead.

On the verge of civil war and ethnic cleansing, her kingdom is rapidly approaching a disaster unless the king is found. Gentyl is assigned to watch over the king's seemingly senile wizard, but when he includes her in his efforts to solve the disappearance of the king and his guards, she learns Saerowyn is not nearly as helpless or addled as he wants people to think he is.

She survives an assassin's blade, court intrigue, a battle with an undead champion, the pirate's attentions, and the demon's attempts to possess her, but her greatest challenge may be conquering her temper and pride.

I like your opening three sentences, they’re punchy and to the point and they draw you right in. The last paragraph has good potential, too, it’s everything in the middle that needs to be edited down. I’m going to give you a brief rewrite at the end, feel free to keep or discard whatever you like. Obviously, you know your story a heck of a lot better than I do. Another thing to keep in consideration is the fact that your own voice, the voice of your story, needs to be as present in the query as possible.

Another thing I noticed, and this may be a personal thing but I’ll include it anyway – the name, Saerowyn, for a wizard sounds too close to Sauron from Lord of the Rings to me. It was the first thing I thought of – though others might disagree.


Paladin's Pride is a fantasy novel, which is complete at 130,000 words.

I was a staff writer for Speedhorse Racing Report for seventeen years. During that time I wrote weekly stories about Quarter Horse, Paint and Appaloosa racing in Canada, Mexico and the United States. I also wrote several stories about the history of various tracks and articles about equine health. One of my stories was nominated for the AQHA Sprint award.

I like your bio; you keep it right on track tying your publishing history into the specifics of the Horse Guard aspect of your story. The only thing I might do differently is to list the story that was nominated for the award by name, giving the date or year of the nomination.

Thank you for your consideration and time.

Julie Weathers

My Pitch Re-Write:

The king is missing. The infant prince is being poisoned. Guards loyal to the crown are systematically exiled or killed. It's a dangerous time for sixteen-year-old, Gentyl, to join the king's elite Horse Guards, especially since she’s caught the eye of a demon, a pirate, and the demon caller.

When Gentyl’s assignment includes watching over a senile wizard, she’s drawn into his clandestine efforts to solve the disappearance of the king and his guards. She can survive an assassin's blade, court intrigue, and the demon's attempts to possess her, but her greatest challenge may be in conquering her own temper and pride.


Okay, as I said earlier, use or discard any of my rewrite / crit as you see fit. I’ve cut a lot of information that you may think is more important than what I’ve kept – you know your story better than I do, so it’s really all about how you are comfortable pitching it – the main point is to narrow down exactly what you want to say to entice a reader, rather than giving it away plot point by plot point.

A very big thank you to Julie for putting her query up for public critique. I’m going to open the comments here to you guys – add in all of your thoughts, crits, whatever is constructive to our author. As I said in the first post, honest crits are always welcome, but nothing derogatory.

If you all are still interested in my opinion, feel free to hit the link at the top for the first post on Query / Pitch crits and drop your own in my comments for feedback....

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Query Critique - Work with me, people!

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.... at least that’s my excuse...

Hi everyone, sorry for the long hiatus from the bloggy realm. Besides getting sidetracked with things like scrabulous and some other interesting time sucks around the internet, I’ve been catching up with friends and getting in some reading... I’m also planning my son’s upcoming Communion and softball and baseball seasons have officially started, so life is getting very full. In my writing time, I’ve been fine tuning my queries and really digging in and narrowing down my agent lists... As I said in a previous post, I’m not going to discuss much more of the submission process on that ms, unless there’s news, but a commenter on my last post gave me an idea:

She asked if I would crit her query letter, which is very flattering and I’d be glad to, but with the caveat that I’m obviously not an expert.... So instead of just exchanging emails and critting for her, I thought I’d open up this post for a pitch / query crit. I know a lot of my regular readers are doing really well with their writing momentum (if you’re all still around after my lengthy absences of late). Many of you guys are farther ahead in your careers than I am, and I know I got a ton of great feedback from pitch crits I participated in and JJdebenedictis’ blog and others....

So here are the rules: If you’d like to play, you can post your pitch or full query in the comments section. I’ll go through the pitches and give my feedback in my next post and the comments section will be open to participation and feedback from all of the writers reading along. Your comments will be censored by me (and remember I’m brutal)... I’ll allow anything and everything constructive in criticism, because I think it’s important to hear... I will not allow anything demeaning or derogatory – I’ve never had a problem with that on this blog as you guys are all fabulous, but I thought I’d mention it in case we get someone new around these parts who’s a knucklehead.

If you’re not done with your novel, this still might be a good exercise as it will help narrow down your pitch for when you’re ready. I worked on mine months before I was finished with revisions, and it’s been a great load off my mind to have a polished pitch so that I can really concentrate on my agent research, narrowing my opening paragraph and tailoring it specifically for that agent, and following their specific guidelines... If you already have representation, feel free to leave links to your own pitch (so other writers can see what’s worked for you) or to post in comments.

And away we go......

Friday, April 04, 2008

My Kids Are Weird... and other parenting dilemmas

First, a hearty congratulations!!!

For those of you who hadn’t heard, JJ Debenedictis has a new agent!!!! Go drop by her blog when you get time and help her celebrate.

And, on with the post:

My kids are strange... Lately I’ve been reading and hearing a lot of different things about parenthood and motherhood and it got me to thinking about my own mode of parenting. It’s funny how it evolves. It’s funny how on top of things I thought I would be when I first became a mom, the things I never thought I’d do, the kind of parent I thought I’d become... you know, as opposed to the parent I actually am... What happened to my once lofty goals? Well, I had kids. They don’t actually conform to what you think they’ll be – they have a need to be their own person, which means switching up the way you raise them because what works for one will not work with all... Ah, if new parents only realized that.

When I was a new mom my television set was almost never on. I watched a few shows here and there, but mostly I watched baseball and my husband watched football and I thought, jeesh, those people who plop their kids down in front of the TV and use it as a babysitter are just terrible.

Yeah... my TV’s on all the flippin time these days. Oh, yes, I shut it off and we play games or do school work. But my kids watch way more TV than I ever thought I’d allow, and my youngest has watched TV since infancy, because I already had three and you’ll take any break you can get at that point!

When I was a new mom, I stood aghast that anyone would allow their kids sugar all the time. No pop for my kids. Candy would be a rarity, and only as a treat after a good, healthy dinner.

Ha! I still don’t let them drink pop, my two youngest don’t even want it... but the ten year old, well, she’s had it at friends’ houses and she likes it... really likes it, asks for it all the time. We’ve settled on her having one (sprite or sierra mist with no caffeine) occasionally with dinner – not every night, I’d say once every two weeks or so, and on those nights she foregoes dessert... but no sugar... please, my cookie jar is a candy treasure trove and they average at least one sweet a day, sometimes far far more... though they still have to finish their regular meals first, I’ll cave on the veggies way more than I should....

Those aren’t the only differences between what I thought and the reality of raising three kids. I thought that if you raise them well, they become good people... Lots of little discipline things, but I found that each kid comes with their own sensibilities, so what works on oldest would be detrimental to my middle guy. Oldest is a hard head. She’s ridiculously bright, but lazy. So being strict with her is what works. If I didn’t set hard and fast rules, she wouldn’t care what grade she came home with or how many rats her bedroom drew... she’s just that way. She’s independent; too, so you have to check up on her, because she won’t tell you she needs help she’ll just try to wing it.

My second is a sweetheart. He gets very nervous about doing things wrong and needs a lot of encouragement and a bit of hand holding in new situations until he hits his comfort level. I’m far less strict with him because he wouldn’t do well with it, and he doesn’t need it. He never has to be asked twice and often will tell me he wants to do his homework, clean his room, go to bed, etc.

Really all of this is to say that they will surprise you and often teach you a hell of a lot more than you teach them. My daughter, while she drives me nuts with her procrastination, is a constant source of amazement for me. She’s ten, just the age where you really start to worry. Sitting at the kitchen table after dinner the other day, she informs me that she wants to be a medical examiner when she grows up... Oooo-kay. I figured she didn’t know what one was. But she did. She wants to examine the bodies and tell the police how they were killed and help them find the bad guys... That’s her take on it, which is pretty good for a ten year old, though a little scary (But I bet Josie would love her). I figured, heck, it’s better than wanting to be a trampy pop star or something.

Anyway, we had this whole conversation about what kind of education she’d need and how she could work toward a career like that – seriously, I was just happy she was so intent. I figured telling her she’d have to get a medical degree would have kyboshed the whole thing... nope, but my figures for future tuition just went up dramatically. In my surreal state of not really fathoming how my ten year old daughter arrived at this career choice we exchanged the following dialogue:

Me: You really want to play with dead bodies? (I’m occasionally flippant)
Her: I’m not taking them out to tango or anything.
Me: (doubled over laughing, cause I thought that was pretty good for a 10 year old)
Her: Though, I wouldn’t have a problem getting to lead.

Okay, seriously, love that she has such interesting career goals, but I’m really thinking comedian... she just doesn’t know it yet.