Any and all comments are welcome. This one is called, Marigold Mourning and it runs a bit under 3,000 words. I wrote it originally a number of months ago and sent it out to rejection, before deciding it definitely needed something... and one of my favorite bloggers suggested I change the opening - which I did. So you guys tell me - does it hold your interest? Would you keep reading? If you wouldn't keep reading, where would you stop and why?
Marigold Mourning - opening page
Marigold stopped short at the sight of the bouquet standing upright against her screen door. She turned around, scanning the empty yard and walkway, but she hadn’t heard anyone at the gate and she’d only been to the alley and back. It couldn’t have been more than a minute, how did they get the flowers there and leave... what if they hadn’t left?
Her eyes fell upon the open back door as she maneuvered up the steps, each creak of the wood making her bite her bottom lip a bit harder than the last one. She peered into the kitchen, dreary in contrast to the bright August sunlight of the porch. Grabbing the flowers she searched for a card of some sort, knowing there wouldn’t be one – there never was. The stems were meticulously wrapped in lavender ribbon, and she tapped them against her palm as she paced back and forth over the small wooden porch, trying to decide whether to go in or not.
She held her breath and opened the door, plunging into her kitchen in a reckless clatter, as if the noise of her arrival might scare any intruder away. She shoved the offending flowers into the garbage and grabbed the phone off the counter, hoping her dialing finger would be quicker at nine-one-one than an intruder’s machete arm might be.
“Haaaaaaa!” she yelled, holding the phone over her head as she whipped open the downstairs closet.
After making sure there was nothing more insidious than outdated clothes hanging there, she continued her rampage through the entire house, shoving back curtains and checking under beds with frenzy. At the end of the mad dash, she wound up in the kitchen when the ringing doorbell sent her into orbit.
Okay, usual rules apply - thanks for reading and any feedback you guys can give me.