About a year or so ago, my littlest guy came running up to me and snitched out his friend.
Littlest guy: He said a bad word.
Me: What word did he say?
Littlest guy: The “C” word.
That thud you just heard was my heart dropping to the floor at the same time my blood pressure went through the roof... not an easy feat, I assure you. I mean, I swear like a truck driver... and that’s actually defamatory to truck drivers, most of them would blush at my more heated tirades... but my kids haven’t heard that word from me. So, I asked the only question I could think of, before hyperventilating.
Me: What “C” word?
Littlest guy’s eyes widened. He stifled a giggle at the thought of being able to curse without getting punished and his voice came out in a whooping whisper – if you can imagine such a thing.
Littlest guy: Crap.
Relief was so quick and so sure that I wasn’t thinking. I let out a huge sigh and said:
“Oh, well, that’s okay then...”
Unfortunately, my daughter was in the room for this little slip in sanity...
Daughter: Wait a second... what “C” word were you thinking of?
Now, like I said, this happened some time ago. I thought the whole discussion was buried and forgotten. We were driving home from the pool and my kids were having some sort of a conversation in the back of the van. Honestly, I wasn’t paying that much attention. I was busy working out the details of a scene in my mind... on my more lenient days, I call this multitasking, but honestly it’s bad parenting... well, not bad as in totally neglectful, but I do spend an inordinate amount of time in my head, even when I’m physically present... the end of the conversation, however, jolted me right back to reality.
Oldest son: I’m going to find out what it is. I have to know (add dramatic movie voice) The Ultimate Swear Word.
Daughter: I don’t know what it is, but I know it starts with a “C”.
Oldest Son: When did mom say we were allowed to know what the word is?
Daughter: (Rolling her eyes) She said, when we’re forty.
Littlest Guy: Forty!!! When we’re forty? That’s a trick – she’ll be dead by then.
So, one might ask, what’s the point of this post? Nothing really, I just thought it was funny. Oh, and I’m back... How’s your summer going? Updates anyone?