Monday, November 30, 2009

My Kids Kill Me and Other Fun Stuff

My daughter probably gets the most play on this blog, because she cracks me up so much. At twelve, that sense of humor and sarcasm is just hysterical. But lately, littlest guy has been overshadowing her sharp wit with a bit of shenanigans of his own.

I should’ve probably seen it coming. When he was four, his grandparents stayed here for a week. Grandpa was putting his already worn clothes in one bag to take back home, and littlest guy told him, “You don’t have to do that. Just throw them in the hallway, Mom’ll wash them.”

Mind you, littlest guy is only seven now, so I’ll have years of laughs and hopefully won’t ever have to bail him out of jail.

My kids all play a Sims game on the computer. It’s actually my daughter’s, but the boys have their own little families and games going. If you’ve never played it, you get a character, and you can build their house and pick their career and friends, etc. I don’t actually know what’s so exciting about it. This version isn’t online, so they’re playing with the game, but not chatting or playing with other real people. And they have different versions, so you can make sure they’re pg-13.

Like I said, littlest guy is seven. I sat down to watch him play on this game. His character has a wife and kids, he designed his own house (a lot nicer than mine, I might add)... he wanted a dog, but this particular game doesn’t have a ‘pets’ option.... so I’m watching him maneuver around the game and notice an extra female character. Yeah, that’s his character’s girlfriend. He has a wife and a girlfriend on the side...

The latest and greatest – I took him to the grocery store the other day and they had one of those big freezers empty and all cleaned out. They were probably getting it ready to stock with holiday stuff. So we’re walking past and I’m looking at my list with the kids following behind me, and suddenly I hear him say:

“Woah! That’s a huuuuuge freezer! You could fit like ten bodies in there!”

And some guy’s walking around the corner, as my jaw hits the ground. And this guy turns about two shades of red and hightails it back the way he came from.

I swear to God, I’ve never let him watch Goodfellas, I have no idea where he gets it from... but I’m thinking I have to start reinforcing the, “thou shall not be a sexist pig” commandment... okay, it’s not actually in the top ten, but it’s definitely in mine. At this point, I’m kind of hoping he’s a natural born crime writer.

Oh, and on to the other stuff:

Book Give Away!!!

At the beginning of November, I did an interview with Linda Weaver Clarke, which you can find here. For those of you interested in historical fiction, and those who just like free booksies, her novel, Jenny’s Dream is being raffled off for the price of a comment on Suko’s Blog The drawing is on December 7th, so get your post up before next Monday!


WordVixen said...

*lol* Well, if it helps any, Brandilyn Collins (suspense novelist) had a plumber in working on her whirlpool tub jets. As she was watching him work, she wondered aloud whether or not you could push a corpse's mouth to a whirlpool jet and have it look like a drowning. :-D Maybe you should get your boy a few books on how to write? Just to be on the safe side.

Stephen Parrish said...

My daughter plays Sims with her friends and I can't help noticing that everyone walks around in their underwear.

Merry Monteleone said...

Hi Wordvixen,

Oh, too funny... I bet that plumber was relieved he had all the water turned off at the time.... ha!

Well, he's still mastering sentence structure, but yeah, we'll have to find a way to nurture the storyteller in there, for sure.

Hi Stephen,

Okay, I'm actually noticing that, too. And you want to say, oh it's only a game with virtual people, except couldn't they be virtually dressed?

Monnik said...

Ha! That's funny! I'll bet the guy at the grocery store who overheard his comment about the bodies in the freezer got a good chuckle out of it.

Travis Erwin said...

Sounds like he and my 7yo would make a dangerous pair.

Merry Monteleone said...

Hi Monnik,

Yeah, I think he probably walked away so he could laugh in peace...

Hey Travis,

Yours, too? They'd probably have a ball together, either that or they'd take over the world. :-)