Today’s a great day to do an uplifting post. The last one I wrote was a rant, which actually felt really good and cathartic. But I thought it might be a good idea to remind myself why we would crawl through glass rather than give up this very hard profession.

So, for your reading amusement:

My Top Ten Reasons Why Writing Fiction Rocks

10. The only numbers you have to worry about are page numbers and word count – and MS Word takes care of that for you.

9. When one of your characters pisses you off, you can get even with him in all sorts of diabolical ways – try that with your coworkers.

8. Seriously, when else will you get to plot a bank heist and not wind up arrested?

7. In normal society, when you sit around talking to yourself, they call you crazy. When you tell them you’re a writer, you become, ‘creative’.

6. You can strike fear in the hearts of friends and acquaintances by hinting that they’ll be included in your novel. (They all think they’ll be included either way, of course).

5. A writer’s daily adventure is only limited by his or her imagination. Pirate play, anyone?

4. You can wade waist deep in books and information on any topic that catches your passion – and it’s called research!!! Come on, how much cooler does it get?

3. You can populate your story with the most colorful, loyal, witty, amazing people you’ll ever meet – and then you get to hang out with them and call it work!

2. There is no dress code for writing fiction.

1. Writing gives you a chance to make sense of the story. It doesn’t replace life, but it makes the experience of living more powerful.

What reasons make your list? And have you done any writing today?

Irked - A New Rant for the New Year

2+ years of fiction writing courses

10 + years writing / studying and learning craft

5 + years studying the publishing industry, learning how to write query / dreaded synopsis, and untold hours of studying agents / editors / houses, etc. etc. etc.

2 finished novels (one sucked so bad we’ll just call it education by stupidity and one hasn’t found an agent at this point, but still - lots of work)

3 + partially written novels, attempted and discarded between sucky book number 1 and completed book number 2

1 – Work In Progress, which has been written, completely scrapped, and started over from scratch

Untold number of online writing exercises, fiction writing classes, editing classes, and critique circles for to slash me to pieces and make me improve.

Untold number of bright and shiny ideas that have been partially plotted, character sketches, and miscellaneous files of work that may or may not be worth salvaging at some point in life.

Untold number of short story and flash fiction pieces, which I know is really not my forte but I have steadily been trying to get a handle on anyway because I feel that it will tighten my writing and improve my craft.

Rejections – don’t even get me started.

I should probably include reading on this list, but I almost feel bad including it because I’d be doing it whether or not I ever wanted to write... I love it... but then, I also love writing and I’ve included an awful lot of that on this list. I’d have to say about 30 years... but only about 20 of those since deciding I might like to write, and really 5 where I’ve been reading with a writer’s eye.

So there, as it stands to date, is my Fiction Writing Resume. It goes without saying that most of this has been squeezed in every crevice of time that wasn’t used for running my household, raising my children, volunteering my time, and producing the freelance writing that actually comes with a paycheck.

I know non-writers don’t really understand this whole thing. They don’t get that I’ve put in this time to improve and learn because I love this, without a paycheck, without any guarantee, without knowing for sure whether I’ll wind up at the end of years and years of hard work with nothing but failure to show for it. Hell, I’m doing it and sometimes I don’t fucking get it.

And, when you get down to it, I suppose I shouldn’t really care or bother with what anyone else thinks. But sometimes it takes a toll - all the people who’ve written me off as either lazy or stupid for not having a ‘real’ job. Every once in a while that gets really irritating. So, for the record:

I am not sitting around ‘playing’ on the computer.

I am not working for no pay because I’m incompetent.

Asking when I’m going to get a real job outside the house and pointing out that my children are old enough is not helpful. (Youngest is 7 – I don’t know what kennel raised you but I’m fairly sure my kids still need childcare of some sort)

This is not a hobby and even if it was, mine would be more productive than sitting at the bar, bowling for doughnuts, watching the ballgame, vegging in front of the TV, gambling the mortgage money, knitting, bingo, or Parcheesi... and far less expensive if you don’t count the ink cartridges.

Okay, fine, knitting might be more productive... I can’t make one myself, but I do enjoy a nice sweater.

Placating smiles and rolling your eyes behind my back are not appreciated (and yes, I can see you – pay attention to where the bar mirrors are, genius).

And for anyone guilty of any of the above mentioned behaviors, let this serve as notice: When my first novel hits the shelves, you are not allowed to say any variation of, “I knew you could do it,” or I will be forced to bitch slap you with said book - and you better hope to God it's not hardcover.

Okay, I’m done. Carry on.

Quencher - My Interview with Betsy Dornbusch

Let’s start this new year with a bang – pun intended.

When our very own Betsy Dornbusch announced that she had a novella coming out, I was elated for her! I was even more elated when she scheduled a bit of time to answer a few interview questions for the blog (but I’m selfish that way...) You may know her as Sex Scenes At Starbucks, or Betsy, and her newer fans will know her as Ainsley. The new novella is called Quencher, and it just released on January 1st, 2010:



Isn’t it gorgeous?

You can pick up your own copy at Whiskey Creek Press, I just downloaded mine today. Here’s a bit about the book to whet your appetite:

At Quench Dating Services, you can experience a sensual night with a match that looks like the celebrity of your dreams—guaranteed, no fee, no gimmicks.

They only ask that you give blood.

Chere Richardson fantasizes about women. After her boyfriend proposes, she feels compelled to divulge her bisexual tendencies thus shocking him into breakup. Frustrated and lonely, Chere meets with her best friend, Adrianna, who is secretly a vampire. To help Chere realize her desires, Adrianna arranges a date for her through Quench. The date backlashes when scandalous photographs of Chere surface, igniting a firestorm of blackmail, jealousy, and investigations that could expose the truth about Quench. And the vampires behind the dating service will kill, not only a mortal like Chere, but even one of their own, to keep from being discovered.

On to the interview:

Merry - Congratulations on the release of Quencher! It looks fantastic and the cover is gorgeous! Having been a longtime reader of your blog, I was surprised with the genre (in a good way, I always love seeing new facets to writers I know). Was it difficult jumping to a completely new genre? What was the most challenging aspect and what was the most fun?

Betsy - Thank you! We were thrilled with the cover and Whiskey Creek Press has been great. I've had a ton of people emailing me in the past few days and sales have gotten off to a great start, so it's an exciting time.

The erotica/romance genre is a complete departure for me, though I've written stories about vampires before. Getting the sex scenes right was definitely the most challenging part for me, and my partner revised them significantly. They're like fight or horror/suspense scenes. I'm used to creating emotions within my readers, but erotica is about making them leap to a physical reaction. It's really hard to nail down the emotional/physical charge without weighing it with too much choreography (though let's face it, erotica readers like choreography).

I also had to admit to myself that my Midwestern/US upbringing made a mental block. I'm cognizant that there's still a deep bias against erotica in readers and some writers, especially here in the States, just as there's a deep bias against sex in the general public, especially the homosexual variety. I like to think of myself as pretty liberal socially, and this particular novella was a good way to make myself walk the walk. Just deciding to casually market it under my own name was a major decision, though I'm glad I have! Ironically, one of my most serious, controversial stories, a SF called "To Stop a War", just came out in Big Pulp. I keep finding myself directing readers there, lest they think I'm all about frivolous sex as a writer.

The other scenes flowed easily, and while sex is a major component of the plot, it's not the entire story. It helped that my partner and I nailed down the plot pretty well, though I surprised him with a major subplot. That was fun! In the end, though, writing is writing is writing. I applied the same techniques I've learned from writing commercial fiction and it seemed to work well for me.

Merry - Quencher is co-authored - is this your first writing collaboration? Tell us a bit about how the idea came about, and your process working together. Were you long-time writing friends prior to Quencher?

Betsy - Yeah, this is my first collaboration. My partner, E. Cameron Stacy, and I serve on the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers board together. We first started talking about working together the night we met, actually. We were at an open mic night and I read from a forthcoming vampire story. He liked my style and was looking for someone to partner with because of a backlog of projects. I'd been looking to expand my sales goals and erotica is a rapidly growing market, so our mutual needs fit.

The project is part of a three novella series, and he had ideas for all of them. He sent me a synopsis, which together we nailed down into a scene-by-scene plot, though as I said, I added to it during my drafting. I sent him the finished draft and he went through and cleaned stuff up. We talked it through nearly scene by scene. I reread, revised, and that draft sold. The whole thing took maybe three or four months, and that was mostly due to me having to fit in drafting QUENCHER amid other projects.

I think that we're more business partners than friends helps a great deal. We're also both frank people with thick skins, so there isn't any pussyfooting around. You don't get that with everyone.

I'm contracted to draft the last book in the series: QUENCHED, and I'm learning it's important to build a backlist in the genre, so Ainsley isn't finished yet. I'm also plotting a SF novella for that pseudonym. I plan on writing it later in the year when QUENCHED and my SF thriller novel THE SILVER SCAR are finished.

Merry - What would you say are the major differences in working with a partner as opposed to solitary writing?

Betsy - The first thing to go is all sense of "preciousness" about writing. I'm not precious about it anyway, since I'm in a great critique group, I've worked with editors, and I'm somewhat of a brutal editor myself. We had to be up front about what worked and what didn't, and we were on a tight schedule, so there wasn't much time to lick wounds.

Some writers would really hate to write to someone else's idea (though I had a lot of say - it truly was collaboration). I didn't find that to be the case. Plotting is the toughest aspect of writing for me and I'd say it's my partner's strength, so in a sense, collaborating was a relief.

The most difficult part was words or phrases getting changed (often to create a lighter, more genre-specific voice), but I had to let it go. I think my experience in doing interior design and commission painting for clients really helped me to immediately recognize that it's his book, too. I'm very pleased with the final product.

Merry - Without giving too much away, can you give us a little taste of your favorite scene, or tell us a bit about your favorite character from the novella?

Betsy - I've long been a proponent of LGBT rights, and the idea of writing about a woman struggling between her attractions for women and her love for a particular man really appealed to me. I also really like the main character's best friend, Adrianna. She's a newly turned vampires struggling with her own life changes and insecurities. Her subplot echoes Chere's journey, and my favorite scene is when it all comes together for her.

Thanks so much for having me! I hope you enjoy QUENCHER!

Betsy will be stopping in here and there, feel free to ask any questions in the comments section. I’d love to hear from any readers, too, so if you’ve already started on Quencher, let us know what you think.

Out with the Old, In with the New...

The week between Christmas and New Year’s is always a week of reflection. The eternal optimist in me likes to see the New Year as a new beginning – opportunities, experiences, forward movement. I’m always a little surprised when it sucks – I look at the future in a way that says everything’s on an upswing... something good is coming. I prefer to be the constant optimist. Even when I’m wrong, at least I’m not perpetually miserable.

As this year draws to a close, I’ve found myself reflecting on my progress over the past year – maybe it’s the fiction writer in me, but I see themes. This year was one of connecting, and reconnecting. It was coming back into my own in a way I don’t think I’d fully done since having my kids. There was the me before being a mom, and the me after – I’m just coming to the place where they fit together, instead of tucking them both into neat little compartments, only to be dragged out in certain social settings. It was a year of rebuilding old friendships, and finding some new family. All good stuff.

I’ve been sitting here thinking about all of the different compartments in my life, all of the goals not yet met and the ones I’ve been blessed to attain. I’m not doing so bad, and this week is a good one to give thanks. I don’t normally talk about my religious beliefs, but this is a good week to light a candle and give a few prayers of thankfulness, for the guidance, and help, and ear. I don’t have everything I want. I haven’t done all that I mean to. But the game’s not over yet, either, and I feel damn lucky I even get to play.

As I get ready to greet the year yet to come, I’ve decided to spruce up the blog and do some redecorating, I’m not sure how much I like the new colors yet – but hey, I can change it... Like me, the blog’s a work in progress. Out with the old, in with the new... but that’s not really the most appropriate title. I’m purging what no longer fits, is gathering dust on my shelves or taking up space in the closet... and sending what I can on to someone else who can use it. I’m not getting rid of all the old, though, some of it sticks with you forever – and that’s not such a bad thing, either.

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year. What was your theme in 2009? And do you have one for 2010? What are your resolutions and for what do you feel truly blessed?

Christmas Songs, Writing Style...

Me loves me some bloggy contests. Over at Miss Snark’s First Victim, there’s a Christmas Song Parody Contest right now. You can follow the link to see the rules posted at her place, and the comment section is open to submissions today and tomorrow (Dec. 7 & 8) – she’s actually shutting comments at 8 am est on the 9th. Oh, and there’s a great prize – agent, Lauren MacLeod, will be offering a query letter critique to the winner.

Personally, I just love the fun. There are a lot of awesome entries if you get time to do a little reading. Here is mine, in case you’re interested, to the tune of Silver Bells:

Query Hell

Busy writing
Keyboard fighting
My tenth draft took its toll
Sent it out
To my beta’s
Sharp scalpels
Then there’s tapping
Keyboard rapping
Fixing hole after hole
‘Til it’s good as this writer can get.

Query hell, query hell
Rejections come, what a pity
Email pings, damn this thing
When will it be a request?

Made my prose tight
Got the voice right
Through each perfect-paced scene
Followed each
Agents’ wish to
The letter
Got the format
Query’s down pat
She won’t know that I’m green
Yes, it’s good as this writer can get.

Query hell, query hell
Rejections come, what a pity
Email pings, my heart sings
My God, I got a request!

I’m Not Screwing Off Online... It’s Research

The Internet is a beautiful thing for writers. Jumping into initial research has never been easier. Remember when you actually had to go to the library or bookstore before you could even start your research on any given topic? Now you can get loads of information and even narrow your search for the sources you’ll want to check out.

Of course, research is just the tip of the iceberg, there’s also networking, the latest publishing news, and constantly updated submission guidelines and listings. Woo Hoo; used to be we had to rely on months old copies of one of the market guides.

Good Internet what’s chained at my wrist that I key into with the same verve as a crack addict hitting the pipe.

And really, without it, how would I ever be bent over laughing hysterically by the news that, yes, EVERYONE no, seriously, everyone, is writing a book?

Without it, how would I find fantabulous new authors to stalk, er, umn, watch, oh – that’s not good either... admire? Yeah, that’ll work. Or new industry blogs for to amuse me:

That particular post was on writers using a typewriter, rather than word processing system – my favorite bit was this:

...Will Self says that with a typewriter, "You don't revise as much, you just think more, because you know you're going to have to retype the entire fucking thing." (I, and several of my fellow editors, believe that since the word processor came into widespread use, the tendency of manuscripts to balloon to excessive lengths has become more pronounced.)

See, all good stuff. Me thinks I do protest too much.

Here’s what I’m noticing in my own online time – it’s never flippin’ ending. I check my email whenever I’m near the computer... and being that I’m trying to write, I’m near the computer an awful lot. I check my facebook, pm people, and whenever I see something in my inbox, I have a compulsive need to take care of it, or at least read it and mentally note that I have to take care of it... and blogging, I can kind of stay away from it for days, weeks, even. But once I’m there, I follow links, check all the industry blogs... yada... fine, at least it’s productive in the sense that I get to talk to people who I like, and learn a few things, and keep up on new events in publishing.... BUUUUUUT (you knew one of those was coming, right?)

I keep getting sidetracked by stupid people. Yes, stupid. I’m not linking any of them, because they’re stupid, infuriating, annoying, dead wrong, or just toxic. (And no, I’m not talking about anyone I regularly follow or who is on my sidebar, if you made my linky list, odds are good that you rock out loud.)

Seriously, though, I do this stupid thing. Yes, I’m occasionally stupid. I run across a blogger or blog that irritates the living hell out of me. Usually it’s an ism, elitism is probably my biggest pet peeve. At one point it was a blogger who did nothing but slam the industry and individuals in it. It’s been atheists who slam people of faith, people of faith who slam every person on the planet that won’t drink their particular brand of kool-aid, pompous nitwits who denigrate anyone and everyone...

Sometimes I will comment. Sometimes I just find myself stopping in to read what’s being said. And I don’t do this all the time. One particular venue will raise my ire for a little while and then I’ll eventually stop going there to annoy myself... and then I find another one...

So here’s the thing, here’s my early New Year’s Resolution, no more procrastination by annoyance. When I find another blog that’s, full of shit, purposely inflammatory, or just generally run by someone you can’t possibly have any type of thinking discourse with – even though they swear up and down they’re the most intelligent and open minded people on the planet (sorry, eternally annoyed by this type of silliness), my aim and goal is to move on. Not to comment. Not to bookmark or check back or even participate in any way. If it incites me to that extent, I can write my own article or blog on the subject – gee, like this one.

What I realized was this was my own little sick and twisted form of procrastination. I have work to do, and when I do find time to tool around on the internet, I’d rather spend it visiting bloggers I like.

How about you guys? Do you find yourself getting off track by this lovely little demon we call progress? How do you keep yourself from time-wasting for too long?

My Kids Kill Me and Other Fun Stuff

My daughter probably gets the most play on this blog, because she cracks me up so much. At twelve, that sense of humor and sarcasm is just hysterical. But lately, littlest guy has been overshadowing her sharp wit with a bit of shenanigans of his own.

I should’ve probably seen it coming. When he was four, his grandparents stayed here for a week. Grandpa was putting his already worn clothes in one bag to take back home, and littlest guy told him, “You don’t have to do that. Just throw them in the hallway, Mom’ll wash them.”

Mind you, littlest guy is only seven now, so I’ll have years of laughs and hopefully won’t ever have to bail him out of jail.

My kids all play a Sims game on the computer. It’s actually my daughter’s, but the boys have their own little families and games going. If you’ve never played it, you get a character, and you can build their house and pick their career and friends, etc. I don’t actually know what’s so exciting about it. This version isn’t online, so they’re playing with the game, but not chatting or playing with other real people. And they have different versions, so you can make sure they’re pg-13.

Like I said, littlest guy is seven. I sat down to watch him play on this game. His character has a wife and kids, he designed his own house (a lot nicer than mine, I might add)... he wanted a dog, but this particular game doesn’t have a ‘pets’ option.... so I’m watching him maneuver around the game and notice an extra female character. Yeah, that’s his character’s girlfriend. He has a wife and a girlfriend on the side...

The latest and greatest – I took him to the grocery store the other day and they had one of those big freezers empty and all cleaned out. They were probably getting it ready to stock with holiday stuff. So we’re walking past and I’m looking at my list with the kids following behind me, and suddenly I hear him say:

“Woah! That’s a huuuuuge freezer! You could fit like ten bodies in there!”

And some guy’s walking around the corner, as my jaw hits the ground. And this guy turns about two shades of red and hightails it back the way he came from.

I swear to God, I’ve never let him watch Goodfellas, I have no idea where he gets it from... but I’m thinking I have to start reinforcing the, “thou shall not be a sexist pig” commandment... okay, it’s not actually in the top ten, but it’s definitely in mine. At this point, I’m kind of hoping he’s a natural born crime writer.

Oh, and on to the other stuff:

Book Give Away!!!

At the beginning of November, I did an interview with Linda Weaver Clarke, which you can find here. For those of you interested in historical fiction, and those who just like free booksies, her novel, Jenny’s Dream is being raffled off for the price of a comment on Suko’s Blog The drawing is on December 7th, so get your post up before next Monday!

Moments

I’ve been thinking a lot about characters. What makes me want to take their journey with them? While there are different variables to what makes a good novel, it always comes back to the characters. The greatest plot and most driven action only work if the characters are fully formed. Okay, that’s not exactly true. You can rest a lot on good writing and a fantastic hook – but without that spark of life in the character, you might have a publishable book, but not a great one. The thing I notice is that great characters can sometimes make up for failings elsewhere, but without them the novel will eventually fade from my memory. It becomes lost in between all the other ‘meh’ books I’ve read – not really pinpointing what was wrong but not special enough to love.

I doubt the authors are completely aware that they haven’t gone the distance with the character when it happens. Usually there are things, qualities, which put together on paper seem to make a really remarkable person. But there’s something missing from point A to point B. Something gets lost in the translation between what’s in the author’s head and what the reader gets.

Every great novel, or movie, or story that’s ever stuck with me in that life-changing, earth shaking way share a common denominator – I fall in love with the characters. And whenever I fall, it’s in the moments. You can count on spectacular writing (or movie making, or singing... insert artistic medium here). There are particulars, of story or plot or theme, that change and have some of this and a little of that. But there are always moments. I’ll give you a few examples, so you can see what I’m saying.

I love Stuart Neville’s The Ghosts of Belfast. I was surprised how much I adored this book – and I’ve seen Stuart around the blog-o-sphere for a very long time, so I already knew he was brilliant. But I’m not a big thriller reader – here and there, but I don’t go out of my way to pick up thrillers or crime fiction. He got me in the moments. And against all odds, I couldn’t help but fall for Gerry Fegan – and believe me, if you haven’t read it, Fegan himself gives you ample reason to stay the hell away from him.

And I don’t want to mislead you – the writing was brilliant enough to keep me turning the pages, but it was in those moments that he hooked me. There were more than a few peppered through the book, but here’s the one that sticks most prevalent in my head:

Marie McKenna lay naked beside him. It was his bed, but it wasn’t. It was his house, but it wasn’t. Fegan was naked, too, and it shamed him. He went to cover himself.

“Don’t,” she said, moving his hand away.

“I’m not clean,” he said.

She hushed him, and moved in close. Her body was warm against his. She kissed him. Her mouth was soft, like summer air.

When he was free of her lips, he said, “It’s been so long. I don’t know what it feels like.”

“It feels like this,” she said, taking his hand and placing it on her breast.

Her skin was soft, her breast round and supple, with a hardness against his palm. Yes, that’s what it feels like. Smooth, warm...slick?

He looked down. His hand had smeared red on her body. She looked down, too, and he saw her mouth twist in disgust. He tried to wipe it away, but only made it worse, great crimson hand-prints across her breasts and stomach.

To be fair, this was a dream sequence, and picking it apart with the other scenes that really got me, it was the juxtaposition of who this character was on the outside, what the world saw of Gerry, and who he was inside. It was the hope, in this scene it was the hope, when so much else going on said quite plainly that the only thing coming was death, I couldn’t help but love a guy who still carried a glimmer of hope with him, even in the face of despair.

An all-time favorite of mine is Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. Again, too many moments to pinpoint them all – and of course, his mastery of dialect has always enthralled me in a way that I can’t even express adequately. But there is one scene above all others that springs first to my mind whenever the book is mentioned.

Throughout the novel, Huck struggles with the fact that he’s helped Jim run away. Conventional views of the time tell him over and over again that this is a great sin, that Jim is property and he’s essentially stolen him from his owner, a woman who’s never done anything to deserve the theft. He gets to the point where he can’t even pray over it because, as he realizes, “You can’t pray a lie.” And he knows that he can’t ask for forgiveness when he has no intention of giving Jim over. So he writes a letter to Miss Watson, thinking that once he’s got it out, and can send it, he can go the “right” way:

...and he was so grateful, and said I was the best friend old Jim ever had in the world, and the only one he’s got now: and then I happened to look around, and see that paper.

It was a close place. I took it up, and held it in my hand. I was trembling, because I’d got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, and then says to myself:

“All right, then, I’ll go to hell” – and tore it up.

It was awful thoughts, and awful words, but they was said. And I let them stay said; and never thought no more about reforming. I shoved the whole thing out of my head; and said I would take up wickedness again, which was in my line, being brung up to it, and the other warn’t. And for a starter, I would go to work and steal Jim out of slavery again; and if I could think up anything worse, I would do that, too; because as long as I was in, and in for good, I might as well go the whole hog.

The moment is obvious, how can you not love a kid who would go to hell, who literally believes he is damning his eternal soul, rather than turn over a friend?

When I started really picking apart these moments, I notice that for me they always let me inside the character. Sometimes they’re internal thoughts, sometimes actions, sometimes scenes between two characters, but they always let me inside... the same intimacy that makes you fall in love with a person.

What are your moments? I’d love to hear them, a passage from one of your favorite works, or one you’re proud of from your own fiction... Or if you’d like, a paraphrase from one of your favorite novels or movies... what makes your moments? Bonus points if you can make me melt.

Middle School Sucks

Being that this is my daughter’s sixth grade year, I’m still learning how to be the parent of a middle school kid. And you forget exactly how warped and mean some of these kids can be, but you forget other fun stuff, too.

My kid is predictably unpredictable. She’s back in piano lessons and the first time we talked to the guy in the office at her new music school was a trip. He heard she was twelve and immediately started telling me how she could learn anything from classical to Hannah Montana... at the mention of the later, she rolled her eyes so hard it put a crack in the ceiling and said, “How about Led Zepplin, or Aerosmith, or Kiss?!!!”

Yep, that’s my baby. She also likes jazz, not so much pop, but a few songs here and there. Rock is a little more her speed. I think, at first she expected me to be the typical mom who frowns on that sort of thing, except, ya know, I know all the words and tend to hum along while she picks out the melody. She’s got a real knack for figuring out a song by ear.

Brag, brag, back on point. She’s creative. Not just with music, she does voices. She’s got a bit for almost any nationality you could think of, complete with multiple characters... Ask her to do the Hispanic Darth Vader and I would bet money you’d be on the floor. She makes up characters and directs little shorts with her video camera. The latest is The Adventures of Peeky – I don’t actually know what it’s about. But since I won’t let her have a YouTube account (because I’m paranoid of having my kids’ faces out online), she’s taken to enlisting her little brothers and assorted friends in acting the bits out wherever we are. Apparently it’s pretty funny, because a gaggle of kids will follow her around at my son’s football practice or picking up the youngest from his school, asking her to do another “Peeky Scene”.

This is all well and good, I guess. It’s just in her nature. I was always creative, but I am nowhere near as extroverted as she is... she’s a born performer and she enjoys the spotlight.

But the last thing you want to do in middle school is stand out. So this year, she’s had some issues, with one girl in particular. And we’ve had discussions at home about being popular and all that jazz... surprisingly enough, she doesn’t want to be popular. According to her, to be popular you have to pay too much attention to your clothes and hair and you don’t get to do anything fun, like voices. (I have a sneaking suspicion that she’d relish being popular if she still got to be herself – we all want to be liked... but I’m fairly happy that she’s not willing to compromise who she is to get there).

At first this girl called my daughter “weird”. But that didn’t work out so well, because my daughter just agreed with her. “I am weird. I’d rather be weird than normal.”

So, of course, as with all things, it escalated. The one that really, really bothered me - this girl told her, “You’re ugly and no boy will ever want you.”

Seriously, where the fuck does an 11 year old get this perception? That you’re only worth something if some boy wants you!!! I know, I’m weird and the insult wasn’t near as bothersome as the mindset it sprung from... and I should probably dislike this kid who’s picking on my kid, but really I feel sorry for her and I hope to God it was some random insult rather than the way she really sees the world, and her place in it.

And I’m sure my daughter’s not telling me all of it, probably just the watered down version of events – I’m just happy she’s telling me any of it, to be honest. I wouldn’t have said a thing to my mother... and I’m trying to let her handle it on her own at this point, but checking in with her about it pretty much daily. I’ve had other moms tell me to call the school but I told her I wouldn’t and I don’t want to break that trust and have her hiding things from me.

I’d love to give you guys some kind of ending here... like a story, to wrap it up in a neat little bow and tell you how it ended... but it’s likely to be ongoing for quite some time. And I’m not sure how we’ll handle the next thing. Another reminder of how fiction is different than real life – in fiction, you can make Karma work a lot faster... on the other end of the scale, none of this will matter much in the long run, except maybe as fodder for her future characters.

How much do you remember from middle school? If you have kids, was it harder to watch them go through it? And for you middle school writers, how much of the reality colors your work?

Wasting Time and Self-Imposed Boundaries

Nathan Bransford’s recent blog asked the question, “Can anyone be a good writer?”

For me, the answer is simple. But the commenters’ answers were more fascinating than my own take, because most of them were so adamant.

A few years ago, I volunteered to run an art appreciation program at my kids’ school. I designed classes around famous artworks and spent a good portion of the time discussing the artist and time period, and then modified projects so that the kids could use an array of mediums throughout the school year that were age appropriate – depending on the grade. I worked with every grade from pre-k through sixth and wound up teaching a lot of classes instead of just my own children’s classes.

Now, I helped other moms design their projects, found volunteers, even put together the art show at the end of the year, and worked with the program for I think two years... but the most vivid memory I have of the entire experience is this:

I set up a still life in the middle of the fourth grade classroom. I don’t even remember who the artist we studied for this one was, but the fun part was letting each of the kids find things in their desk or around the room that they thought were interesting and decide where to set them on the table in the middle. So there was this great big hodgepodge of STUFF. And I had them all sit in a circle around the table and then I told them to draw it... oy, the looks on their faces! Like a deer caught in the headlights. I wasn’t thinking.

When you tell someone to draw, someone who hasn’t already studied how to see things in that way – with an artist’s eye, well, they need something specific. You can’t give them too much. They don’t know where to look.

So I slowed them down a bit. Told them to breathe and told them each to pick a spot out of the still life that most appealed to them; I even let them move around the room to find what they found most interesting. They could draw it as large or as small as they wanted, include as many things as they wanted... it was all about their own perspective.

As I was walking around, a boy raised his hand, his page was still blank and the pencil was in his hand... and he looked at me and said, “But, most of us won’t be good drawers, right? I mean, like, some people are good drawers and then the rest of us will never really be good at it, right?”

So I told him the truth. “No, that’s not right. Anyone can learn to draw. Any person who wants to spend the time and put in their best effort can learn to draw and draw well. It’s a skill, and there are techniques, and to get really good takes a lot of practice, but there is no special ‘thing’ you either have or don’t that says you can draw. It’s all about working on it.”

See, there was another kid in this class who was talented. She had that X factor and had the ‘artist’ title in the class... so that’s probably where the question came from, but I wasn’t about to be the person that gave this kid a boundary and told him he’d never have the capacity to cross it.

And you know what – he crossed it. His drawing was good, and detailed, he picked small little skeleton erasers and some portion of a weaved basket thing... you could see every bone.

Now I’m pretty familiar with the whole, talent vs. work debate. And I do personally think there is a little kernel of something, that intangible we call talent, in great artists, writers, or really anything... I mean, there’s probably some intangible in surgeons and mathematicians, too, we just don’t generally call it talent, we call it intelligence instead... but it’s the same thing really. Some people have a natural ability in certain areas. That’s talent. It comes easier or there’s a spark there, and you’ll often hear other writers or artists talk about how you could see it as far back as grade school.

I had it. I got all that attention for being talented and creative... in drawing, not writing. If teachers from grade school saw me today, they’d probably wonder if I was doing anything with visual arts, because that was what I was known for then, what seemed to come easy for me. No one noticed anything interesting in my writing until late in high school... in fact, I was in one of the lower reading groups in grammar school.

And, getting back to the talent thing – I don’t actually have that spark in the visual arts. I figured that out on my own, and I think that’s how everyone should come to their own limitations or lack thereof. Just because my early dispositions leaned toward drawing doesn’t mean I was talented, it means I was interested. Interested in saying something. That’s what it was about. I’m still interested in the same thing, telling a story, but I’ve found I like doing it in words, scenes, through characters... or sometimes through blog rants.

So I don’t know – can anyone be a great writer? A great artist? Well, I guess it depends on your definition of great, and that’s subjective at best. What’s more interesting though, is why you come up with your answer to that question, and who you’re drawing boundaries for... because really, all of the years I spent drawing and painting... they weren’t wasted. I’ve taken the techniques and way of looking at things into every other area of study – no time you spend learning anything is ever really wasted, the skills always translate to other areas if you’re just open to it...

What’s your answer? Can ANYONE be a great writer? If your answer is no, who do you think needs to stay behind the line your boundaries draw? And how did you make it across, or did you?

Getting Historical - My Interview with Linda Weaver Clarke

One of the best things about blogging is that it gives me the opportunity to meet so many fabulous people. Recently, my blog introduced me to another great writer. Linda Weaver Clarke writes historical fiction and she also goes around the country lecturing on genealogy and writing out your own family history. She was kind enough to let me interview her for the blog, and Linda will be around to answer questions. So away we go:

Merry: I find the idea of teaching a Family Legacy Workshop fascinating! I'm wondering, did you get the idea from working with historical fiction, or did you start by working on your own ancestry and then got into historical fiction?

Linda: I was first interested in putting my own family stories together. After writing my ancestors’ stories, I couldn’t stop writing so I turned to historical fiction.

Merry: How do you spur your ideas, as far as setting as historical placement for your novels? Do you find something in your research first, or do you have the idea and then research the time-frame?

Linda: Sometimes in my research about an area, I find something that gives me an idea for a book. I get most of my ideas from true experiences and every day life, though. For example, in my first book, “Melinda and the Wild West,” it was inspired by a true experience that happened to me as a substitute teacher. A teacher labeled a young girl as a troublemaker and put her behind some bookshelves so she wouldn’t be a menace to others. I based my story on this experience, but I also wanted it to be a love story. This book eventually won an award as one of the semi-finalists for the “Reviewers Choice Award.”

In “Edith and the Mysterious Stranger,” I based this story around the courtship of my parents. They didn’t meet the conventional way. They wrote letters to one another before they ever met. She said that she fell in love with the soul of my father, and they didn’t even know what one another looked like. The day they met, my mother told me that her heart leapt within her and a warm glow filled her soul and she knew she would marry this man. I knew this would be the basis of my next novel, but there’s one difference. In my story, you don’t know who the mysterious stranger is until the end of the book. Some readers guessed correctly while others were pleasantly surprised.

“Jenny’s Dream” was inspired by events that happened to me in my youth. I learned that forgiveness was essential for true happiness. In this novel, Jenny must learn to forgive and put her past behind her. This story is about accomplishing one’s dreams and the miracle of forgiveness, with a bit of adventure from Old Ephraim, the ten-foot grizzly bear taken from Idaho history. The research about this old grizzly was exciting to me because I had grown up with the stories of Old Ephraim. He wreaked havoc wherever he went, slaughtering sheep and calves, and scaring sheepherders so badly that they actually quit their jobs. With one blow of his paw, he could break the back of a cow. I found that he was the smartest bear that ever roamed the Rocky Mountains. No one could catch him. Every bear trap they set was tossed many yards away from where they had put it, and the ones that weren’t tripped had “Old Three Toes” tracks all around it. He was too smart to be caught. In this story, I included every detail about this bear and his deeds.

My great grandmother, Sarah Eckersley Robinson, was my inspiration for “David and the Bear Lake Monster.” Sarah lost her hearing as a child but she never let her deafness stop her from developing her talents. I took a lot of her experiences from her biography and gave them to my heroine to bring some reality into my story. Sarah was known as one of the most graceful dancers in town. She was known for gliding across the floor with ease, with just a touch of her partner’s hand. Sarah had such agility and gracefulness while swimming, that people would actually throw coins in the water so they could watch her dive after them. Once an intruder hid in her bedroom under her bed, thinking he could take advantage of her since she was deaf. He must have thought she was an easy victim but was sadly mistaken. She swatted him out from under her bed with a broom, and all the way out of the house, and down the street for a couple blocks, whacking him as she ran. What a courageous woman! In this book, I also added real experiences about the Great Bear Lake Monster, a part of Idaho history. Does it exist? Well, the people of Bear Lake believe in it. I’ve met people whose grandparents actually saw it. This part of my research was fun. To read an excerpt from each of my novels, visit: Linda’s Website

Merry: For family histories, how would you advise someone new to genealogy to get started?

Linda: It’s important to teach our children their heritage. Our children need to understand their ancestors and be proud of them. First, write down any experiences that you remember. Talk to family members and discuss memories. Use letters they wrote to one another. If possible, go to the area your ancestors settled, walk around, find specific places of importance, where your ancestors lived, went to school, and played. If you can’t go there in person, then do research and find pictures of that area.

Time Period is another important part of research. Find out what existed back then. During the roaring twenties, bobbed hair was the rage. If your grandmother bobbed her hair and went to the dance marathons, write about it. If they lived during war times, it helps your children understand why their grandparents had such tough times. When writing my father’s biography, I found out that in 1942 they rationed gas to three gallons a week. To me, that was amazing. How about prices? Did it cost ten cents to go to the movies and five cents for an ice cream cone? And what flavors existed? Did they travel by horse and buggy or a Model T Ford? All this info makes an interesting story. To read samples of what you can do with your stories, visit my website at www.lindaweaverclarke.com and read the “short stories” of my ancestors.


Merry: Are there any research methods you find particularly helpful or favorite sources you revisit for various projects?

Linda: I do research on the Internet and in books. If I research the Internet, then I always make sure there’s a bibliography along with it. You don’t want people’s opinions but facts. I had a blast researching for my last book, “Elena, Woman of Courage.” It was in the 1920s so I did a search about the language for that time period. I found words that I didn’t even know such as: Cat’s pajamas! Ah, horsefeathers! Baloney! You slay me! If you were All Wet, you were mistaken or wrong about something. If a man said, “Hey, look at those gams!” What were gams? Of all things, it’s a woman’s legs. When referring to a woman, they used doll, tomato, and bearcat. When a person was in love, he was goofy. If a person was a fool, he was a sap. And when a woman wasn’t in the mood for kissing or romance, she would say, “The bank’s closed.” I was able to use all these words and much more in my book. The language was great!

Merry: I love historical fiction, but as a writer I find it daunting because I'm afraid I won't have a firm enough grasp of day to day life in the time period. Do you have any advice for would-be historical fiction writers on how to stay accurate and capture the voice of the time?

Linda: Research is the secret for me. I research the time period, the clothes they wore, whether electricity was used or not, whether closets existed, etc. I found out that clothes closets weren’t used in 1896. Melinda had to put her dresses in a Wardrobe. I found out that pencils were painted yellow for the very first time in 1896 and for a very good reason. I included it in my first novel and received many e-mails about it. I found that Idaho allowed women to vote in 1896. They were the fourth state to give women rights. Wyoming was first, Colorado was second, and Utah was third. It was fun to learn this trivia. Yes, research is the best way.

Linda’s books are available on Amazon, through local bookstores that buy from Baker and Taylor, and on her website: Linda Weaver Clarke.com

You can also get to know Linda through her blog.

I’d love to hear from you guys in the comments section. If you have any questions for Linda, she’ll be stopping in, or if you just want to discuss historical fiction, genealogy, or your own methods of researching, fiction and non.

Happy Halloween and other Announcements

Happy Halloween!!! Yes, I know, I’m a day early. But I’m guessing any of you with kids will be having your fall parties today and running amok for the rest of the weekend. I will, too – we’ve got the kids class parties today, my daughter’s Halloween dance tonight, and of course, trick or treating tomorrow... mwa-ha-ha... so, I’ll be mostly running amok, myself, but I thought I’d stop and wish you all a Happy Halloween and update a little here.

I don’t know how many of you are doing NaNo, but it starts on Sunday!!! Holy crap, where did the time go? I’m not doing that one, actually, I’ve never done nano. But I hope everyone participating has a great and very productive time with it.

This coming Thursday, November 5th, I’ll be interviewing the very awesome Linda Weaver Clarke here on the blog. For those of you who don’t know Linda, she writes historical fiction and does workshops on genealogy and writing your family history. I’m really excited about this one!

Here’s the thing – I love historical fiction. In fact, it was one of my first favorites, from all the way back in grade school. Some readers go through phases where they read certain favorite authors continuously – I did that with time periods. American History has always captivated me, especially Civil War and Revolutionary War era novels, but I’ve gone on long stretches with other time periods, too...

And I have a backburner plot that’s historical... it’s been on the backburner for years, but I’m afraid to start it. Afraid I don’t have a good enough grasp of the history maybe or afraid I don’t have the chops for it. And that’s what we’ll be talking about with Linda. She’s going to give us some insights into researching for historical writing, as well as some ideas for those of you just looking to do a little research on your own family tree.

Linda will be around to answer questions in the comments section that day, as well. And I know there are a few other historical novelist that stop in around these parts, so don’t be shy – I’d love a great discussion on this one... mostly because I’m selfish and I’d like to learn more!!!!

Halloween Lite

Halloween is around the corner, and I don’t know about you guys, but my kids are really starting to get psyched over it. We’re going today to pick out costumes. It’s funny because I used to spend so much time letting them pick out exactly what they wanted, and making it perfect, but none of them seem to want that anymore – store bought is just fine.

When my oldest was in Kindergarten, she wanted to be the Lollipop Princess from Candyland... try finding that costume in a store... so I made it. My oldest son wanted to be Danny Phantom, also a costume that no one seemed to make... the outfit was easy but turning brown hair bright white is a challenge, my friend.

Littlest guy has never wanted me to make him a costume. I’ve asked every year, and every year he wants something store bought... well, last year he wanted to be a cubs player, which was pretty easy since he already had a jersey, hat and his own baseball pants... I had to draw the line at wearing the cleats to school.

So this year, we’ll see... they’re getting older and they don’t want to be cartoon characters anymore... well, littlest guy might. My daughter varies back and forth between Peter Criss (the drummer from Kiss for those of you who slept through the last four decades), and something store bought. Oldest son wants something really scary.

But there are so many rules now; it’s hard to even make the event fun.

First of all – there are no Halloween parties at school. It’s called a “Fall Party” (I don’t know what’s wrong with the word Halloween, but there ya go)... and the Fall party can’t have anything Halloween-esque.... not witches or goblins or scary stories... you can use pumpkins, but no jack-o-lanterns... oy.

And candy. No candy. We’re not allowed to give out treats to the kids’ classmates. I can buy pencils or small toys for the kids, but no candy... what the hell? I thought Halloween was ALL ABOUT THE CANDY!!!!

Oh, and costumes... No masks (okay, I get it, they don’t want the distraction).... nothing violent. Seriously, nothing violent. I don’t remember any costumes that weren’t violent when I was a kid... it was scary or slutty. Pick one. Personally, I really prefer my daughter scary, thank you very much.

And on the one hand, I get it. Some kids have allergies, or are diabetic... but every year it just seems to get a little more extreme with what we’re allowed to do or say. My daughter had her Kiss costume all planned out, but now she’s thinking of store bought... because there’s no jewelry allowed except stud earrings... nothing shiny with sequence (because they might fall off and be a ‘slipping hazard’ – I’m not making this up, either!) No belts with studs no chains... you know, nothing fun. Basically, she’d be a kid dressed all in black with a cat face, and she doesn’t think that’s nearly as cool.

So how about you guys? Are you doing anything fun to celebrate Halloween? And what was your favorite costume as a kid... or even as an adult?

Social Media vs. Ethics - Death Match 2009

In a lot of ways, this social media thing is like the Old West, and we’re all basically out in the wilderness, cutting our own paths where there are no roads, or trying to follow the barely worn trail of an explorer who’s come before us. Hello, Lewis and Clark.

Entrepreneurs, small businesses, and even the big corporations are eager to utilize the power of social media. It astounded me that all of my time fooling around online can now be considered experience on my resume. Web 2.0 has quite the cache.

While they can point to examples of marketing online that have boomed businesses and brought about coveted results, there’s really no fool proof formula. It’s not a tangible, why this worked for this person and the same thing fell short elsewhere... and that’s part of the allure of web 2.0 skills – it’s too wide open, too creative, too much of it says you have to be innovative to get noticed... so regular business folks are hiring other people to handle their facebook and twitter and blog accounts.

Ghost blogging’s been around forever. I’m not sure how many people were aware that there’s a large market out there for marketing and pr people (or writers who just need a little extra income) to step into this ghost social media market. Really it’s ideal for someone with a fiction writing background. Capture the voice of the company or person and speak as them online.

But how ethical is it?

Like everything, it depends on the exact scenario. For me, blogging or tweeting as a representative of a company is fine. I could do that, using my own voice or even someone else’s... what I can not do is pretend that I’m another living person.

I think readers or followers on twitter and facebook use these venues specifically because it opens up a window to talk to the actual person. If I knew that the editors and agents I follow weren’t the real people tweeting and blogging, that they passed it off to ghost web 2.0 people, I probably wouldn’t follow them. The point for me is the insider perspective into the industry and the ability to actually converse with people whose opinions and knowledge I respect. And hey, maybe their ghost tweeters would be just as knowledgeable, buuuut it smacks as unethical to me in that the readership is largely based on who you are and what you know.

The same would hold true for me with authors, or actors, and any specific person’s online persona. And I get the draw, there’s only so much time in a day and staying on top of your online platforms can be a pretty time-consuming job, more so if you have a lot of followers. But my answer to that would be not to use platforms that give the impression the reader is talking to you when they’re really getting your pr team. And the other thing I think it’s important to note – from what I’ve seen, pr teams suck at online marketing. Yes, they really really do. Tweeting and facebook and linkedin and even blogging – they don’t work for the hard sell. You can’t run a twitter account by constantly running 140 characters of infomercial. Nobody wants to spend their time there.

And that’s the thing. These venues work for personal interaction, or at least the illusion of personal interaction. When you take the person out of it, your readers can usually tell.

I think I might be too honest for a career in marketing. But I don’t see why marketing can’t be honest. Like I said, might not be the perfect spot for me.

So how about you guys? Would you consider blogging as another person or tweeting or any of the other social media stuff? Would you feel the same way if one of your favorite professional bloggers, authors or whatever, turned out to be ghost written?

See, it’s an interesting question for me because there’s such an odd fine line – I don’t have any problem with work for hire writing, that’s most of the writing I’ve done professionally. I don’t have any problem with ghost writers who do autobiographies or any other type of work really, but for some reason the social media thing crosses the line for me... maybe because the reader doesn’t expect interaction from the author of a book or article... How about you? Where’s your line – and how are you liking the wild wild west?

Words, Words, Everywhere Words

Anyone ever heard of Wordle? If you’d like to see mine, it’s right here Don’t you love it? Basically, you punch in the url to your blog, and the site gives you a word jumble, kind of like a tag cloud, based on highly used words in your blog. To get your own, go to Wordle.net

The thing that struck me with this one was the phrase (of sorts) that ran across the wordle, “really just One writers VOICE”. Well, isn’t that a pretty nifty way to describe this blog. And that led me to jump to yet another fiction writing topic – perspective.

If you take any little section of the wordle, you can find words or phrases that take you to a different place, give you the start of a new story. I did a couple different versions, and in one (which I printed and will be framing, it was so cool) The word “VOICE” is all in caps and in very large print. The word “talk” is inside the “O” and the word “love” is inside the “C”. How perfect is that?

It depends on the way you look at these things. Are you taking a small section to concentrate on? Or is it the picture as a whole? And I think it’s the same thing with any art form. Georgia O’Keefe created beautiful paintings centered on one, single poppy, in the midst of an entire field of them. She might concentrate on the light and shadows through the curve of one small section on an animal’s skull. She did other, larger picture paintings, too, but you see what I’m saying here – the end product, the message your reader or viewer takes away, is largely dependant on the perspective you’re showing, the portion of emotion or story that you’re bringing to the forefront.

So what are you concentrating on in your writing? Is it a large picture or big theme that you’re most emphatically trying to get across? Are you concentrating on the minutia of character and feel of place in order to give a very detailed picture that plays into the overall themes? Or are you leaving the smaller descriptives for the reader to fill in and concentrating instead on the motion? What’s your perspective? Oh, and what cool words and phrases pop up in your wordle?

Feminism, Censorship, and Writerly Responsibility

Moonrat recently posted a survey that got me to thinking. She asked which very popular books we’ve bought and read, liked, etc. One of the books on the list was Twilight.

Now, I have a certain prejudice against writers that belittle popular works. I’ve heard it so many times, and so often it’s simple sour grapes, that I almost uniformly disconnect from any of those diatribes. Saying you don’t like a work is one thing. Even picking apart why is fine, it’s that going overboard into “terribly written, how did it ever get published” stuff that bugs me. I’m sorry, as far as I’m concerned, if it’s selling in the stratosphere it speaks to people. Maybe it’s not your taste, maybe it goes against the “rules” of fiction writing, whatever, it still speaks and to me, you have to give the author respect for what they’ve accomplished, it doesn’t really matter if it’s not to your own taste.

That’s not to say I don’t hate some popular works. I hated Twilight, in fact. But it’s not because it’s terrible writing and I’m so much better than the author.... it’s not because I think that kind of writing is dragging down literacy, blah, blah, blah. As far as I’m concerned, that kind of thinking is for elitists, and if there’s one kind of “ist” I can’t stomach it’s the kind that makes itself feel superior by belittling others.

Twilight. I didn’t like it because it bothered my feminist sensibilities. That’s it in a nutshell. It bothered me so much, that I started picking out things, like the number of times “ochre eyes” were mentioned, just to have something else to roll my own eyes over. And to be honest here, as a writer, I saw so many areas where her craft could be improved. But to me, that’s a writing thing and shouldn’t be confused with a storyteller thing – bluntly put, it doesn’t matter if I think other authors are better masters of their craft, I can’t fault the storytelling and that’s what she was aiming for. I read the first one all the way through, just to make sure it wasn’t my speed, but I never read the rest of them. Because it bothered me.

She wants to be turned into a vampire – think about this, she wants to die, leave her own family forever, and cling onto his family after knowing this kid for a couple of months!!!! Aghhhhhhh! That’s what bothered me. He sat outside her window and watched her sleep... and it was portrayed as romantic!!!! Aghhhhhhhhh!!!!! Excuse me while I pound my head off the wall at the leaping, bounding, backfall of woman-kind.

It bothered me.

But - It bothered me as a thirty-six year old mother of three, one of which happens to be a girl. It bothered me today, knowing what I know, with the sensibilities I have. But the author’s job wasn’t to capture my sensibilities – her job was to capture Bella’s, a teenage girl in love for the first time. Me, today, would beat the bloody hell out of anyone watching me sleep through a flippin’ window. But that’s today. Do you remember how intense the emotions were in high school? Do you remember how serious everything was, how every little argument was blown up, every crush the end of the world? I do. Ms. Myers did her job. She wasn’t supposed to capture a mature woman’s sensibility at these events, she captured Bella’s. Tell me you didn’t know a girl in high school who thought her life was over when her first real boyfriend broke her heart... tell me Ms. Myers didn’t capture it with all of the angst. Because she did. If we’re honest, she did.

That’s the thing here, people aren’t always right. They don’t always live their lives the way that are best or exemplify a healthy or moral message. And whatever you add to your list of writerly responsibilities, a moral, a theme, a message – whatever you add to it, the cardinal rule you can’t break is being true to the character. When you do that. When you create a sixteen year old with the perception of a thirty-six year old, you’ve lost the battle... the craft might be there, but the storytelling is less than authentic.

The Celebrated Author mentioned that Twilight bothered her because so many young girls idolized Bella, as if she were a role model. I can’t say I disagree. It bothers me that there are girls in middle school reading this that might think dangerous relationships are romantic, etc. But, on the flip side of that coin, who do they have to talk to about it? I mean, seriously, we can’t be thinking of blaming a book for the way young girls think about relationships can we?

I don’t believe in censorship. I think, for the most part, it’s akin to hiding your head in the sand and hoping something goes away. I don’t believe in censorship for kids, either. Don’t get me wrong, you need to make sure things are age appropriate, but that doesn’t mean banning things you disagree with. My daughter’s in middle school and a bunch of her friends have started reading the Twilight series. She’s not interested yet. But if she does decide to read it, I’ll be reading along with her, so that we can discuss it together. Books and media don’t raise children, and when they disagree with the messages a parent wants a child to understand, it’s the perfect stepping stone for discussion.

Thoughts? Anything rile your feminist bone?

The Voices In My Head

Writers talk a lot about voice. VOICE - if I could do big sparkly letters that jump off the screen and slap you in the face, I would. That’s how important voice is. Writers know this. It’s the one thing you can’t just learn. It’s outside of craft. I’ve seen writers with natural voices, ones that pull you in the second you read the first sentence – voices that make you smell and see and feel every nuance of where you are and who you’re with in their story. A lot of people call this, ‘natural talent’, but I think it has more to do with trust. They trust their voice. They don’t make any apologies for their voice. They don’t try to change it for the market or hide it from people who are more intelligent or poetic or whatever. They trust. Those people still have to work on craft. They have to tackle plot, and pacing, and all of the variables that mean you need to put your ass in the chair and do the work, but they’re a few steps ahead of the game, because they already trust their voice.

Voice. Everyone has one. Notice I didn’t say every writer has one. That’s not accurate, it’s like saying that anyone not pursuing writing doesn’t have a voice, and they do. Choosing not to use it doesn’t mean it’s absent.

So, what happens if you can’t find your voice? I think it’s a little different for everyone. Some writers will tell you to keep writing and eventually you’ll get to where you know it, hear it. But some of us miss it completely for a long, long time. Again, I think it has something to do with trust.

Now, here’s something that they don’t talk about often – every character has a voice. Erica Orloff just wrote this post about the character’s voice. If you’re a writer, you’ll definitely want to stop there. Your writing should reflect your character’s world, not necessarily your own. Does this mean you have a different voice for different novels? Yeah, kind of. The meat of who you are is still there – writers have tells in their wording here and there, but if you’re switching from urban commercial fiction over to middle grade, well, there better be a pretty significant change in the way you approach it. Your characters have to be whole, and they have to have their own voice. And that voice, your character’s voice, should permeate the novel.

For me, voice was a hard thing to find. What I realized, rather belatedly, was that my best voice, the most authentic voice I have, is guttural. Yeah, you read that right. I kind of knew this, knew that I’m at my most powerful when I’m bringing where I come from to the table – but it hit home more completely for me when I did the My Town Monday posts for Travis, especially this one. I wasn’t trying, it’s not edited – my blog posts often aren’t. Besides all of the wonderful comments, I had emails on this one; it was even linked in a message board for people from my neighborhood. I get visits weekly on that post, from people looking up Cicero on search engines. I’ve had people message me on facebook to tell me that they liked it. So it speaks, it speaks louder than some of the things I’ve agonized over in revision. Not because it’s polished, but because it’s authentic. Because I wasn’t thinking about the audience, I was just being, without worrying about being judged. Trust.

So why the hell did it take me that long? First, I read voraciously. I know, this is actually a good thing for writers, stick with me here. I like novels where the writing disappears and it’s all about story. I like novels where the language wraps itself around you and infuses your senses. I love classics, commercial fiction, fantasy... I love literature and language, and voice... all sorts of voice. So the first part of this is easy to answer. When I started writing, I was mimicking a lot of what I loved in reading... you can see where that might get confusing as I didn’t stick with any one thing as far as what I liked.

I also had an easy grasp of advanced literature from an early age. What got me noticed by teachers was not going to be the same thing that would get me noticed in fiction... Lots of heavy concepts and over-large words... I understood it and loved the flow of that academic voice, but it’s not my fiction voice. And then a lot of the fiction that really resonates with me is on the heavy side. It’s poetic or layered, even the more mainstream fiction that sticks with me for ages, has some bit of something – this spark of brilliance in thought, or concept, or theme.

So there’s the first thing. I adore other authors, but I had to learn to admire their work without squelching my own voice. Instead of forcing poetic prose, I had to get comfortable with what I am, and realize that lyrical is not the only kind of poetry... sometimes blunt and gritty can be beautiful, too. And sometimes pretty words don’t speak nearly as loud as authentic truth.

The second thing is a little deeper. That voice I told you about – I hide it. In my real life, I hide it. I learned fairly early that if you’re outside the neighborhood and can’t speak in a more intelligent way, people think you’re an idiot... actually, worse, they think you’re low class. My accent jumps out when I’m angry, or annoyed. It thickens when I’m around other people who have one. Okay, I’m around a few ‘suburban moms’ and will occasionally let it slip out because I know it’ll make them uncomfortable... I never said I wasn’t a ball buster. But from high school on, I learned to adopt a professional voice to be taken seriously. So that’s in there. There’s an automatic fear in using that voice that I’m opening myself up to judgment... but hell, I’m going to be judged anyway. I just got to the point where I figured, just because they’re judging me, that doesn’t make them right.

So, will I always write in that voice? No. It works for this wip - these characters, this story and most of all, this place. And maybe it’ll be a setting I revisit in future works, but for now I’m keeping my horizons open. There are other worlds and stories I’d like to capture, too. Other things to be said and voices that need to roam.

How about you? If you’re a writer, does your voice change in different novels and settings? If you’re a reader, do you notice a voice change from novel to novel in your favorite authors? And I’m thinking that this might be a good premise for a writing contest. Anyone interested? I think I can even muster up a few prizes.

The Writer Gene

Me in my 'Birthday Suit'

When I was three, my mother bought me a new outfit to wear on my birthday. So I called it “My Birthday Suit” which of course got a lot of laughs that I didn’t quite understand. Those laughs are the reason I remember that it was a birthday outfit at all, instead of it just being some cheesy 70’s outfit my mother made me take a picture in.

Things like that always fascinated me, different meanings for words and phrases. I loved to find a new a different way to say things – double entendres still crack me up. Then again, with a name like, “Merry” I guess they should’ve seen that coming. I can still remember being baffled that other girls with my name spelled it the wrong way. Later, when I realized I was the odd one, I could actually hear the difference between someone else’s “Mary” and mine. People pronounce them the same way, for some reason I hear the spelling.

Erica Orloff often touches on topics of why writers write, why we’re wired to hear and see the things we do. And I wonder sometimes if it’s nature or nurture – I think it’s probably just in us. Another person without the odd writer gene might still have a name like mine and not feel the need to use a blog url like “Happycat”, or to think about it much at all. It’s just what it is.

I love to hear different writers talk about why they do what they do – their answers are often a bit different because just having the writer gene doesn’t mean we all share other outlooks and motivations. It just means the rest of our person found an outlet through words. Some writers swear that the very act of pursuing a career in writing means that there is ego there. Okay, maybe there’s ego everywhere in some degree or another. But there are some who say that they pursue writing because of their ego, their need for attention, their need to be heard and grab the spotlight – so they pursue it through writing because that’s where their surest talent lies.

For me, ego does come in, but not in the sense that I want a spotlight – when my writing veers toward flowery prose that go around in circles and add nothing to the STORY, I know I need to put the ego in check. It’s more about impressing the reader, or more often myself, and less about the objective. And it almost always means I’ve taken myself out of the character.

When I was in high school, I had a number of teachers who wanted to push me toward writing. I was still pretty set on art myself, but I enjoyed writing because I enjoyed the story. And it was safe, because no one knew about it. I wrote an assignment and handed it in to my English teacher and no one else had to know what was in there – but I loved it. I loved playing with the words and I loved the freedom of not having any real expectations on that part of me. Sure there were grades, but I wasn’t particularly worried about my English grade. Then one day my English teacher decided that one of my essays was so good that it should be shared, and she did. She read it to all of her classes, with my name attached, for the whole day.

I wanted to crawl under the foundation, I did. Teachers I didn’t even know were shouting praise at me in the hallways. And all of the sudden there was expectation. My friends hadn’t known I could write, and I didn’t know how to react to the praise. And I didn’t want it. I had a good gig going, compartmentalizing so that this thing was here and the rest of me was there and I wasn’t known by what I did... but more than that, I didn’t want the spotlight, I just wanted to write the story.

The teacher was a really nice and supportive one, and I’m sure she thought that would be a great confidence boost for me. But I wasn’t looking for one really. In my senior year, a different teacher convinced me to submit some of my short stories and poetry for the creative writing competition. I don’t know how exactly she talked me into it, I think it had something to do with the fact that you’d get feedback on the work and that it was a blind judging – so they wouldn’t know who I was. It didn’t occur to me that after they finished judging, they’d have to place the names with the winners. Or maybe it didn’t occur to me that I’d win anything. Really, I just liked the idea of my stories being read. I liked the idea that someone else might get lost in the world I put on paper, might get the same kind of jolt out of the flow of a phrase that I got out of all of the books I read.

Lucky for me, my art teacher couldn’t contain her excitement and she let slip that they were announcing the winners the next day. She didn’t tell me I’d won anything. She didn’t have to. It was all over her face. I ditched school the next day.

A few of the teachers were a little disappointed in me, I know. I just couldn’t do it, though. The thought of my name over the loudspeaker, and pictures and all that... It turned out that I’d placed in all three categories and took the overall prize. I couldn’t have done that. My name over the loudspeaker four times, oodles of praise, egads, I still cringe. I wish I could have explained it better at the time, apologized for missing the big hoopla they planned – maybe I should’ve tried writing it down.

I’m a little more mature now. I wouldn’t ditch out at the thought of accepting accolades, though I’d probably turn red. But it’s still mostly about the story. Not about being a writer, but the act of writing. And the publishing, the goal for me isn’t about anything except being read. It’s why I’m still pursuing traditional publishing instead of any other means. I could write for myself and never show it to a soul, but then it’s incomplete and wasted. I want it read. I want other people to get something out of the worlds I’ve created. There’s the ego, I guess.

How about you guys? Is it nature or nurture that made you a writer? And what’s the motivation? Is it about seeing your name on a book cover, or garnering great advances? Is your writing solely for you, or do you prefer to share it? And when did you know it was the path you needed to follow?

You Can't Go Home Again

A long time ago, some blog friends and I talked about synchronicity - a fancy way of saying we were all thinking about some of the same themes and philosophies at the same time. I often notice that life throws these ideas and themes at me repeatedly... or maybe it’s that they were always there and I only noticed them once they’d come to the forefront of my own thoughts. Kind of like when you buy a new car and suddenly notice the same make and model and color car everywhere.

Synchronicity is why I roll my eyes when new writers (or really paranoid writers) worry over someone stealing their ideas. I can’t post my pitch on a public forum! My ideas are brilliant and some hack with better connections will steal them and sell them before I can!

Most of you are writers, so I’m not even going to go into why this is ridiculous. But ideas, ideas are a dime a dozen. They’re in the air, floating with dandelion fluff, laying dormant in gutters and sprouting from trees. There is nothing new out there. The trick is finding the themes and ideas that speak to you and building your story there, on that foundation. I know, when you’re in a rut and everything seems like drivel, ideas don’t seem nearly so easy to come by. But they are. They always are – what you’re fretting over, really, is the execution.

So I’ve been fiddling with this WIP for quite a while. It was going well, really well... and then, not so much. And the wall I hit was so tall and solid, I couldn’t find a ladder high enough to climb over... so I tried walking around it. But every time I neared the corner, out popped another two miles of bricks and mortar. So I sat down. I rested. I thought. I played pinners off the flippin’ thing. Nothing. So I started over from the beginning – no red pen or spell check, just reading.

There was some really good writing in there - some poetry and word play and lovely imagery... so much so that it eclipsed the story. Fucking egomaniacal writers and their longwinded twaddle!

So I tossed it. I did. Did you cringe? I probably cringed enough for all of us. I tossed it, I checked my ego at the door, and I started from page one... a brand new page one. And it’s better. I wasn’t sure exactly what I was trying to do with this story when I started, so what I really did was waste a lot of time and words – really pretty words that no one will ever read intertwined in quite that way... but then again, had I kept those words, no one would ever really get the story.

A few days ago, I happened to be driving through my old neighborhood. (Stick with me here, I’ll get back to the point, I promise). I was only a few blocks from the house I grew up in, so I took a little detour, just to see the place. I haven’t been back to my own house for a very very long time... Did you notice the wording there? ...my own house - I caught it after I typed it, but I’ll leave it here, because it’s truer than the correction. The house looks terrible. Even driving down the block was odd. The streets seemed so much smaller than in my memory... the houses so close together... and my house, well, it’s seen better days.

And to be honest, perfectly honest, the neighborhood itself isn’t that much different. The same bricks and pavement... the trees might be a little taller, where there are trees. Most of the same buildings are there, different bushes or flowers in front – or none at all... shabbier here and there, but there was some shabby when I still lived there... that’s not it, though. In my head, it’s my neighborhood. It’s still there – the neighbors that all knew my name, the kids playing ball on the corner or running bases... skeeching and snowball fights and a million other things that I can think of... In my head it’s still there. In reality, it’s somebody else’s neighborhood now. Somebody else’s memories and place, and I don’t belong to them. The buildings exist, but the place isn’t mine. Except in my head.

And I really didn’t have any plans to go by my old house. It was a spur of the moment thing. I’ve been within a mile of it more times than I could count over the last decade or more, and never drove by. But I needed to see it – for what it is now and what it was then. It’s where my difficult work in progress is set, and I suddenly realized why. Why it was so important to me to set it there, in that neighborhood. Why it was so important to develop these characters who didn’t really live down the block from me, but could have. Why it was so important to me that, if anyone from the neighborhood reads my novel, the first thing they think is, “Yeah, that’s it. That’s home.”

Synchronicity. And no, you can’t go home again, except in your head... my real objective now is to see if I can take you with me.

How about you guys? Does synchronicity pop into your novel ideas or your life? Where do you want to take us with your writing?

The Ultimate Swear Word

About a year or so ago, my littlest guy came running up to me and snitched out his friend.

Littlest guy: He said a bad word.

Me: What word did he say?

Littlest guy: The “C” word.

That thud you just heard was my heart dropping to the floor at the same time my blood pressure went through the roof... not an easy feat, I assure you. I mean, I swear like a truck driver... and that’s actually defamatory to truck drivers, most of them would blush at my more heated tirades... but my kids haven’t heard that word from me. So, I asked the only question I could think of, before hyperventilating.

Me: What “C” word?

Littlest guy’s eyes widened. He stifled a giggle at the thought of being able to curse without getting punished and his voice came out in a whooping whisper – if you can imagine such a thing.

Littlest guy: Crap.

Relief was so quick and so sure that I wasn’t thinking. I let out a huge sigh and said:

“Oh, well, that’s okay then...”

Unfortunately, my daughter was in the room for this little slip in sanity...

Daughter: Wait a second... what “C” word were you thinking of?

Now, like I said, this happened some time ago. I thought the whole discussion was buried and forgotten. We were driving home from the pool and my kids were having some sort of a conversation in the back of the van. Honestly, I wasn’t paying that much attention. I was busy working out the details of a scene in my mind... on my more lenient days, I call this multitasking, but honestly it’s bad parenting... well, not bad as in totally neglectful, but I do spend an inordinate amount of time in my head, even when I’m physically present... the end of the conversation, however, jolted me right back to reality.

Oldest son: I’m going to find out what it is. I have to know (add dramatic movie voice) The Ultimate Swear Word.

Daughter: I don’t know what it is, but I know it starts with a “C”.

Oldest Son: When did mom say we were allowed to know what the word is?

Daughter: (Rolling her eyes) She said, when we’re forty.

Littlest Guy: Forty!!! When we’re forty? That’s a trick – she’ll be dead by then.

So, one might ask, what’s the point of this post? Nothing really, I just thought it was funny. Oh, and I’m back... How’s your summer going? Updates anyone?